My Everyday Prayer

Gracious Spirit

• Allow all my actions to be motivated by love.
• Allow me to be detached from all outcomes, and allow the Universe to surprise and delight me.
• Allow gratitude to permeate every cell of my physical being, to spill over into my thoughts and deeds; grateful for even the painful experiences as they open the door to great teachings and wisdom, and the pleasurable experiences, as I relish and savor each delicious offering with curiosity and awe.
• Open me up to more giving from my heart, and more receiving with my heart, as this is the way energy and abundance circulates.
• Allow me to recognize I am always held in the unified field of love and abundance, where all possibility exists.
  
• Let me suspend all judgment in all matters, including myself.
• Allow silence into my life, as well as breath.
• Inspire me to choose consciously; as I choose for myself, I also choose for the larger community.

Let me be used, O Beloved Spirit, to be sourced and resourced, to be filled, and emptied, and filled again, as I journey passionately in this life.

When Life Isn’t Fair… How are You Going to Respond?

Right now, things are topsy-turvy in our world. Globally, financial institutions seem like people diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. One day up, the next day tanking. People are following suit, reactive to the outer world. There's been a lot of denial, poor choices, and a blatant lack of responsibility.

I’m not saying this as a victim, but life isn’t fair. So what can I do to respond, stay grounded and maintain my bearing, when the compass isn’t reading the directions of North, South, East, and West in the usual way?

As an observer, how is it that I can have a great credit score, have never had any late payments with any bills, never have filed for bankruptcy, have equity in my home and work for myself, and still be turned down for refinancing, while people who have been late for payments and trashed their credit over and over be offered greater financial options and lower mortgage payments on their property that might have been foreclosed on.

I do everything in my power to be responsible in my choices and actions.



Yes, life isn’t fair. Yet, how I respond is the only guide to live by. And being 100% responsible is the guiding compass that points me in the direction of where I desire to go. I have to stop reflecting what is going on with others, and really steer the course of my own ship, and stay the course.

I may not like how thing are, but if I stay attached to the belief that they should be different, I am not only asking, I am begging for my own dose of suffering, resentment, and righteousness. I become a victim. I will insist on blaming someone else for situations and circumstances in my life, and I ultimately will be giving my power away.

I don’t consciously surrender my personal power to others these days. I used to, but being a victim isn’t very empowering. Coach training and being coached allows me to take actions that will propel me toward what I want, instead of focusing on what I don't want.

I do surrender my positions to my spiritual practice, with the sincere acceptance to see situations and circumstances in a way I can learn and grow from. I have never been disappointed in that simple act of letting go of the thoughts, beliefs, and positions that don’t serve me, and to ask for that willingness for acceptance to permeate through every cell of my being. I have always been supported by the spiritual source I come from, and eventually will return to. If certain thoughts don’t serve my higher self, they don’t serve the greater good. Then I will be contributing to the global toxicity, instead of allowing a greater good to flow through me, and open me up to new possibilities.

With that action of willingness, acceptance, and surrender, I really can serve the world, with authenticity and humility. That's a response that could ignite a quiet revolution! Try it!

When the news isn't good

No, the news isn't good. Last month, a record of new people filed for unemployment compensation. The Bureau of Labor Statistics released the news that nearly 600, 000 people lost their jobs in January 2009 alone.

No doubt, this isn't news for most people. It hits people directly, with who they know, how they spend their money, and aims straight to the core of their ability to be safe and secure in how they will survive.

On February 5th, the small technology and research company I work with as a graphic designer made a difficult decision to restructure into a not-for-profit venture. It was a choice that wasn't easy for the founders of the company to make, but in order for their product to penetrate through to their primary markets of speech language pathologists, research institutions, and universities in a profound way, the company had to move swiftly.

By the end of February 2009, two-thirds of the people I worked with will be laid off. Some people were gone that very Thursday afternoon on February 5th. My hours have been reduced, but I'm still working to do what I know how to aid in the company restructure. 

I've come to know and care about these amazing, professional people, and have respect for each and every one of them. I know any employer would be fortunate to have any of these people involved in their company. Each person has a story of their life. I honor those stories. I don't think many of the people I work with are "stuck" in their stories, though. This is a group of people who seem healthy in how they process their feelings and emotions, and then they take action to move in the direction they want their lives to go.

For me, I have to filter how much news I receive from the media these days. I'm not in denial, and I don't know many people who haven't been affected by the economy. Yet a steady diet of bad news can paralyze opportunity, dreams, and intentions. I want to mobilize and take action. I know that focusing on what I want is more productive than focusing on what I don't want, or even what I fear. It's time to build that place of fearlessness within.

I've started building my social network stronger, because support will make the difference in how I respond to life. Join my network here with Linked In.

The Dawn of a New Day

Most days I wake up before the sun comes up. I work out at the local recreation center, and by the time I'm finished, the hint of a new day colors the sky like a panoramic painting of oranges, blue hues, and deep reds. This morning as I was exiting the recreation center, I happened on the dawn, and I pondered events this day would bring to not only myself, but to people around the planet. Today, we welcomed a new leader with vision, integrity, and purpose into the fold of one of the most difficult and rewarding positions of leadership. And for certain, a new day is dawning, for us all!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Let us join in the collective community, in support of our new president, Barack Obama. And may our country be blessed.

My Current Badge of Honor

No, that's not an "alien" shirt. That's the back of my cheap t-shirt. After a really hard cardiovascular workout. These days, it's my badge of honor.

I spend my mornings at the local recreation center. I make the time to exercise (when most people are still dreaming under some nice warm blankets). I have to do this. I want to be healthy. And I am committed to the process, no matter how long it takes.

Years ago, maybe 18 or so years ago, I noticed I had a very easy time putting weight on. I always ate healthy, and very rarely "pigged out" or over-ate. I wasn't always highly active, but I wasn't a slug, either. The relationship of what I was eating and why my body processed food the way it did wasn't understood by me. And certainly, western medicine wasn't helping me understand about food, nutrition, or weight. After all, we had the USDA Food Pyramid. And more and more people were becoming overweight, being diagnosed as diabetic, and the belief in the dietetic world was "a carb is a carb is a carb". We know now that belief is a recipe for disaster, and a nation of overweight people. Now we know the pyramid was sponsored by those food companies that provide Americans with the base level of the old pyramid as over-processed, cheap, calorie-laden and nutrient-vacant, easy-to-eat foods. And of course, with the backing of the federal government.


Sometime around 2001, I had an ultrasound, because some liver enzymes were elevated. The ultrasound revealed a "fatty liver". I didn't eat exceptionally fatty foods, so there wasn't a real external reason for the liver issue. I don't drink. But, there it was; another clue in unconcealing what seemed to be a life-long challenge for me and many women. And even another way to beat myself up.

I always had some sleep problems. I had surgery for sleep apnea in 1989, and through the years, I was a problem sleeper. I slept better after being introduced to magnetics (Nikken), but still had some sleep trouble. My body would always feel hot. I was moody. As I got older, the heat and the moods got worse. Finally, after seeing a naturopathic doctor in Arizona, and taking a saliva test, I finally had a diagnosis that connected all the dots. The diagnosis is a metabolic and hormonal issue called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS.

For years, I kept off bread, potatoes, rice, all things that would increase my sugar level. With PCOS, many times there is something called insulin resistance. So the weight stayed on, even through a thorough change in my diet. I exercised a lot. I had people look at me, and tell me, "oh, just do Pilates and build those core muscles".

What I really needed to do was have a team to help me. I also had to step out of denial. Whatever I needed to do, I was willing. Willingness is the first step to recovery.

So, my team consists of a naturopath who knows about PCOS, a chiropractor, the alarm clock that gets me out of bed to go exercise, a massage therapist, and someone I can be accountable to. I hold to a very basic diet of protein, vegetables and fruits (that won't boost sugar levels), seeds and nuts, water, herbal tea and little else. No added sugars, no juice, no sauces, no grains, no honey, no dairy. And I exercise.

I take supplements. About 18 at a time, three times a day.

And I exercise. And exercise. Five times a week. Sometimes for more than an hour. Sometimes more than two hours. And I push myself. I seem to have some endurance in this area. I may be slow, at the beginning, but I am definitely steady. I can spin on the exercise cycle at 105 RPMs for 50 minutes (the resistance level is about a four for 20 minutes, then I step the resistance down). So I'm riding about 11-12 miles in 50 minutes.

I'm getting stronger, and my body is FINALLY responding. It took a while...

How long to I have to do this? I am told, all my life, if I want to be healthy. I no longer am "hot" all the time. My moodiness is gone. I am dropping weight, and my clothes are loosening up. Slowly, but steady. Like the tortoise and the hare, I'm here to win the race.

If you ever wonder what you're committed to, just look at your daily actions and choices. If you don't like what you're getting, make better choices and take action. No one said it would be easy. But, it will be worth it!

And, like the SWOOSH commercial, just DO IT!

Happy New Year 2009

It's been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened in the short span of almost 4 months:

• I completed the second module of coaching training through the Institute for Integrative Coaching; I was coached in my life for 3 months. I still have a lot to work on, now I have the tools to see more and more successes in my life.
• I decided to limit my communications with my father. (My father disappeared out of my life a few years after my mother and father divorced. I was seven. Forty-three years later, I was able to find my father. More on that with another blog.)
• I distanced myself from writing in my blog and chose to work deeply through the coaching and healing process, and that experience let me see many of my life situations and challenges through respectful, peaceful, non-reactive eyes.
• I chose to be fully in the process, and not hung up with the outcome of my decision to go through with coaching training.
• I made a conscious choice to put my need to be healthy as the priority in my life.
• I chose to stop being in denial about a medical diagnosis I received several years ago, and thought I was managing. I decided to create a health team with a naturopath, chiropractor, and massage therapist to aid me in taking stronger and more specific actions toward better health and fitness.
• I exercise 5-6 times a week.
• I dance at least twice a week.
• I take supplements regularly for the condition I was diagnosed with, and I changed my diet to increase my health benefits.
• The US had a presidential election, and the people spoke with their votes. It's an exciting time, full of hope and change. It's full of challenges, and people will face the toughest decisions they ever had to make.
  

• Financial markets are currently fractured around the world.
• I made a visit to Texas to spend time with my beloved aunt in early December.
• My brother in Washington DC got married to his long-time lady friend, with very little fanfare, but with a lot of heart.
• I became secretary of my homeowners association.
• I've continued my volunteering for etown.
  
• I've made some new friends.
• I continue to journal and meditate.
• I paid my quarterly taxes.
• I went to Fort Collins for the first time (and the second time, too).

Although I haven't written in my blog, I have been writing. I decided it was time to focus on what's ahead for me on a day-to-day basis, and take action. Sort of the one-day-at-a-time approach. Some things I had regularly enjoyed doing had to fall by the wayside, but as I learn to manage things large and small that come about in my life, I realize I have been responsible, accountable, and taking action. There are things I want to change, so, like a boat on the seas when the wind changes, I adapt, and learn and grow, and do. As Yoda said, "Do! There is no Try!"
I continue to be committed to my own evolution.
Come join the parade!

Intuition (mostly every day, these days)

When I align my being with what I believe, think, and speak, my intuitive nature comes through. Life becomes more “in the flow”; everything from finances to parking spaces open up for me. I'm more open to my intuitive messages, and hope I can utilize those gifts to help others.

Sometimes intuition move through me as words I actually hear, loud and clear. Those are clairaudient (psychic ability to hear things that are beyond the range of the ordinary power of hearing) signs. I don’t always know what the messages I receive mean when they come through me. I just trust I will understand later. Most of the time, these messages show themselves to something that happens in the future, and sometimes it's about the collective consciousness, and sometimes it's personal. Intuitive messages also come through my dreams. Here are some recent intuitive examples.

Sunday morning, September 28th, between slumber and wakefulness, I heard the words “Put America First”. I thought those were odd words to wake to, but I trusted what I heard, and knew I would understand more. I’ve trusted the messages I receive, and know it’s a gift for me to “see” what cannot be seen with the five senses.


I also decided last week to volunteer for the presidential candidate of my choice that day, canvassing targeted voters, checking if those voters were registered to vote by mail, and collecting data to be used for the “get out the vote” time as election time draws closer. For me, to take action made me feel my energy was assisting in the building the America I want to live in.

Monday, the country found itself deep in a financial crisis, with Congressional lawmakers working toward a “rescue bill” to slow the train wreck of an economy teetering on the brink of collapse. Tuesday, a bill was presented to Congress to vote on, not a great bill, but one that would send a message to the financial markets that the government would steadfastly financially back the poor decisions of financial institutions for their risky investments and lending. Credit for businesses large and small has become increasingly tight, and the reality of more and more smaller operations going under will have a major impact on us all. Congress failed to pass this rescue legislation. On Tuesday, September 29, the stock market plummeted, dropping almost 800 points, its worst loss ever.

Suddenly, the words I heard made sense. “Put America First” meant to me, coming to an agreement that served Americans, not the egos of the Congressional body.

________________________________________________________

Last night, I dreamed I was having tea with a friend. My friend and I were sitting outside, and the weather was beautiful, with absolutely blue, clear skies, and leafy, autumn trees as our semi-shady canopy. Suddenly, ants fell on me. Large, red ants, and they were biting me. My friend and I shook them off us as fast and furiously as we could. And I woke up, remembering every visual and tactile detail of my dream.

I recently talked to my aunt, whom I love dearly, so I thought maybe that was some subconscious spill-over. I also am working rapidly on lots of creative graphic projects, and I know that the ant symbolizes the ant totem of the hard worker, as well as a creature needing community for its survival. The ant works for the good of the whole. Ants also are very strong, with the ability to lift 20 to 50 times its own weight. I feel strong these days, yet lighter in many ways.

This evening, when I came home, I started chatting with my next door neighbor. I didn’t park inside my garage, knowing I would be running out to the grocery store later. As we talked, I looked down on my driveway, and there was a solid mass of hundreds upon hundreds of ants in a paved divide of my driveway.



When I get messages from my dreams, or I hear words loud and clear, that couldn’t possibly be anything I would normally (or abnormally) think about, it’s definitely time to tune in deeply to my internal landscape, and notice my external landscape. As the two blend, I receive the message I’m on the path to discover more about my intuitive gifts.