Everyday Failures

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas A. Edison

When you read the header on this post, what came up for you? Take a bit of time, and really think about something in your life that was a complete fiasco.

If you shrugged the experience off, never to look at the experience or any of the components leading to the failed situation ever again, maybe I can give some perspective and coaxing to look again, with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Chances are, if you attempted to accomplish something, just one time, and failed at it, you could be one of those perfectionists I hear about. My guess is you are good at a lot of things, so that's really a great asset, be it in building a business or a cultivating a great relationship. There are so many gems to be garnered from failure, yet sometimes we get caught up in our stories of what the experience SHOULD have been like, or we reflect on our past, and get stuck. We play safe, without taking the risks that will push us into our true greatness.

Move through it and get unstuck! It'll be worth it!

Create a list of everything you learned from the situation and “pan for the gold” from what may be perceived as the murkiness of the experience. Creating the list and brainstorming what worked, especially with someone who supports your project unconditionally, will put things into perspective, as well as help you create a game plan of what could be improved. This brainstorming will allow you to see that the experience came about to teach you something new and great. Part of my path in success coaching is coming up with creative ways to see those gems in the dust, so that you can cash in on the ideas and shift those ideas to successful outcomes.

Take a look at the things you do every day, and do well every day. Those things you do have allowed you a certain degree of confidence in your continued success to do them again and again. Let’s pick one thing. Say you turn your computer on, and once it “boots up”—do they really say that still—it’s good to go, and you get to do what you want to on the computer. That would be a success (yes, maybe, you think, a small success, but none the less, the expected outcome was achieved).

Since I’ve had the opportunity to press the “on” button on my computer and have absolutely nothing happen resembling a working computer, I am always gratified to acknowledge a resounding “yes” when things work. I take nothing for granted in this life, and have gratitude for the small and the large victories in life.

Certainty is great, especially when it's driven by internal knowledge. We learn more from the uncertainties in life; that's where the opportunity lies dormant. Turn it on, and wake it up, and kick-start your creativity. The world is waiting for your gift.

If you are pursuing a “dream”, have come to a point of being where you live the dream, breathe the dream, and are taking action and responsibility, doing all the “right” things, and the outcome is still less than stellar, here’s a great idea. Step away from the “dream”, and gain a new perspective. You still have your vision, and you’re just taking a break. Do yourself a favor, and take the emphasis out of the “dream” and what it means. Make the goal to have some fun. After all, at first, you’re experimenting with something you haven’t quite mastered. Make a list of why you want what you want to succeed, including the feelings of when success is at hand. Have faith in your creation. Remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials.

The first time you do something, even if you are great at what you do, chances are, there’s going to be something that you haven’t counted on. The richness and jewel lies in this lesson. I encourage you to embrace the things that didn’t work, as well as what did work, and refine, define, and move forward.

Make another list, and challenge yourself to come up with 50 ideas to improve your process, so you can experience more of what you want, success-wise.

Test and repeat, refine, define, and have fun with your growth.

A failure is only true failure when you don’t learn anything from the experience.

Everyday Surprises

Lately I’ve found my time is joyously exploring and experiencing new situations and opportunities. It’s been one month since I was “let go” from a full-time position I held, or maybe the position held me—whatever we tell ourselves, it’s all a story. I really like the company I worked with, yet I was not passionate about the work I was doing. I wasn’t being challenged in my workplace, although I did choose to challenge myself, by taking web design classes, to enhance my value. I continue to learn as much as I can these days in the field of graphic design, and although I’ve been in the field for over 25 years, the internet has changed the definition of a what a graphic designer is today. Creating this blog is another great lesson in enhancing my skills, in a way that feels creative and joyful.

Being “released” from this work has been radically freeing and frightening at the same time. I certainly am challenged to create the life I’ve always dreamed of, and create an income from the energy I put out into the world. I am very open to looking at a variety of situations in new ways; even the way I felt emotionally about my no longer working at this company has been completely transforming and I chose to feel good instead of feeling not good about the separation. I continue to trust the Universe opens to bring me opportunities, and I also trust that I will be open to the signs provided and that I will be conscious and in the place of allowing of new, wonderful things to come into form. I don't hang out, waiting for something to happen. Every day, I take positive action, and do what I can to connect with people and places to support my journey, and hopefully support others, too. I also do my best to experience more fun every day.

I’m engaging in a lot of networking these days. Last week, I met with a lovely woman who gave me an hour of her time, to pamper me, educate me a bit on skin care, and how to even physically reverse the signs of aging, in this challenging time where the environment and our individual lives may stress our bodies and our skin. I enjoyed our time together very much, and I enjoyed the drive out to my new friend’s home, close to some beautiful farmland, agricultural, and open space. She’s a new mother, and she works out of her home. She really enjoys what she does, and she has a lot of fun with her business.
Find out more at http://www.marykay.com:80/mmurray18/default.aspx

On the way back, I chose to “find my way” back to my home using a different route. As I turned down a country road, looking for a road sign to give me a sort of “compass” of my next turn to make, I fully enjoyed being the moment of a beautiful spring afternoon. I could always see the mountains, so I knew the direction of “west”. I had my camera with me, ready to capture the day digitally. The landscape a few hours before consisted of gray clouds and those clouds were filled with intermittent rain showers. In the span of two hour’s time, the sun reemerged, and shone on the glistening land. Steam and mist appeared on the road.

I just passed a road sign that let me know I was headed in the opposite direction of “home”. Just then, I also saw a sign with Susan’s Iris Garden in blue letters, a red arrow pointing the direction, and a phone number. So, turning around the car, I chose to explore, camera in hand.


I pulled into a driveway, and was met by a barking, growling wiry Jack Russell terrier. I let him check me out; I must have been okay to him after that. As I walked around the yard, I looked for someone to talk to, but didn’t want to disturb anyone, either.


Emerging from carefully planted flowerbeds, many varieties of iris brought a smile to my face. The garden smelled wonderful, with flowering trees, and the wild bird songs brought a joy to my ears. I especially enjoyed hearing the red-winged blackbirds, since they remind me of the time I lived in a beautiful area of North Carolina.


I so enjoyed my short time out by Susan’s Iris Garden. As I “revisit” in my mind, it makes my heart glad I am “directionally challenged”. I always know the way towards feeling happy, and these days I set my compass in that direction, no matter what happens in my life. When you decide to be happy, no matter what happens in your life, you open yourself to more rich and varied surprises.

Here’s a fun thing to do, for you everyday shamans.

What sights, sounds, and smells can transport you to a joyful, happy time? Really think of something where you absolutely felt joy and even awe at something you experienced. The more yummy the experience you had, the better. Take about five minutes of your time to do this, close your eyes, breathe in that place of joy and fun, and really “revisit” that wonderful place and feeling. Where do you feel this feeling in your body? What are those smells? Does this experience have a taste? Breathe in all this good… it’s your time, and your good! When you do this exercise, you are also creating a lot of good “chemistry” in your body, just by choosing your fun, positive thoughts. This exercising of “resetting” your feelings can actually counteract your everyday stresses, and even help your immune system strengthen. You might even find yourself sleeping better, and having more energy.

When you can remember that you can embrace the “shift” of feeling good over feeling not good, any time you chose, you embrace the power of the everyday shaman.