Beliefs, Addictions, and Habits (Oh My!)

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Dorothy, to her dog Toto,
The Wizard of Oz

I’m human; I do it. I repeat the very things that don't work in my life. As I work on my own life, beliefs, addictions, and habits spring forth. I’m currently managing a pattern that has reared its ugly head in my life. Again. Meaning, not the first time. Only, now I know, I created this habitual way of being, and I possess new skills and some mindful ways to transform my experience. I've stopped reacting and begun responding, utilizing improved approaches to old habits.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

attributed to Albert Einstein,
US (German-born) physicist (1879–1955)

When I find myself some place in my life that isn’t working for me, chances are, I’ve become attached like Velcro to a belief or a behavior that has brought the very thing I despise into my life. With consciousness, I can choose another belief or behavior, and change what isn’t working and create I actually want in my life. The belief of deserving a great life has to be paramount. Admitting a situation isn’t working for me becomes my catalyst. My emotions tell me right away whether something is working or not. Taking 100% responsibility for the choices that pointed me to pain, suffering, and self-discovery becomes my next step.

Responsibility: the ability to respond. Deciding to do something differently moves me closer to stepping into my own power, and having what I want.



I quit lying to myself. Everyone lies. We lie mostly to ourselves. It’s a part of our humanity. We want to believe the things we perceive as “bad things” that happen to us are going to stop happening. (I am reminded of the television show, The X-Files, and the poster that the F.B.I. character Mulder had hanging in his office). There is no "out there", though. That is a lie that I think I believed for a long time. We create the "bad things" as well as the "good things" in our lives. That's hard to swallow, but that's my responsibility to accept. Then, to be totally honest and true to my nature opens me up to vulnerability. That can be scary or liberating. It's my choice how to perceive my true nature. Acting with bravado and concealing my emotions masks what’s really going on internally. Another lie. Light years from my true nature.

If I’m dealing with a situation involving another person, it’s beneficial to honor that person’s true nature, too, whether I respond positively or negatively to “who they are”. If the resonance between us is “negative”, chances are, there's a huge lesson to learn from this person for myself, since people tend to mirror back the aspects of my nature I’d rather not acknowledge or deal with or even might even despise in myself. I get to honestly examine my beliefs and habits, and when I quit lying to myself, I have a chance to expand my thinking. I collect information to explore the best way for me to make my choices work, in a productive and positive manner, from the heart more than the head, and then I take action. I can’t indulge in “magical thinking”. Magical thinking is the belief that if I think my situation will be different, it will somehow be different.

Magical thinking doesn’t work with abusers who promise they will never abuse again. Magical thinking doesn’t work for those who have experienced some form of abuse. Magical thinking doesn’t work with addicts who say they will quit their addiction cold-turkey. I define addiction as a dependency to a behavior, emotion, or external substance. Magical thinking won’t curb food addictions, chemical addictions, and emotional and behavioral addictions.

A strong belief showing up as a self-righteous stance might be an addiction. I think of a righteous position as a sort of metaphysically drawn “line in the sand”, a belief created to divide; it’s me versus them. That one-way inclination of thinking alienates me from people, so in the end, the crusade becomes me versus me. I could choose to judge a situation, a group of people, a whole country for something as insignificant as what foot they use to take a step with first when walking. Something tells me big wars and small misunderstandings escalate from the belief of "I'm right and you're wrong". Relationships become stretched and strained to the breaking point. Recognizing and letting go of my self-righteous positions opens me up to infinite freedom and gratitude for the present moment. It’s the false ego-self that craves the nourishment of self-righteousness. Feed the ego-self sustained and fueled with a righteous position, and there’s a guaranteed battle brewing for the future; an fierce internal conflict where there are absolutely no victors.

Sometimes moving forward and taking action necessitates external assistance. Assistance can look like counseling and therapy, hypnotherapy, life coaching, a spiritual practitioner, or simply reaching out to friends and family. I’m here on this planet with about 6,642,398,998 other people. Someone out there may have a fresh perspective about a situation I’m experiencing and desiring change with. Reaching out to someone offers fresh ideas to my experience. There are people in my life who see the truth of who I am, when I’ve misplaced my inner knowing between where I’ve been and where I’m going. I am grateful to know “you’re out there”.