Riding the Wave of In-Between

Sometimes we have absolutely no idea what is going to happen in our lives. Could it be we let life happen to us? Or maybe we are open to new possibilities and bring about as many conditions as we can to stimulate and excite us. When it comes to the human condition, and the situations we bring about into our lives, it’s truly a grand illusion that we’re in total control, and many times that very thought causes suffering and pain. We are always in control of how we choose to view and feel about those situations, and when we stay in a place of emotional observation and non-reaction, we can track those feelings, and choose more of how we want to feel about whatever is going on in our daily lives.

For much of my life I thought I was open-minded. Yet, patterns kept showing up in my life again and again and as soon as I thought I had learned what I needed to from a particular experience, and imagined I released that pattern forever, there it was again, like an old friend. Not a good old friend, but definitely, an old friend. I felt there was a specific way, or feeling I should experience, and the pattern would be gone.

I finally acknowledged my resistance, and the “SHOULD” of my pattern. The word SHOULD contains the stinging smack of judgment and the inference that something is either right or wrong. My consciousness of this resistance I have held dearly, as a measure of, what I think is security and safety, was actually binding me to an old, painful and outdated belief. For me, acknowledging this resistance of how my life “SHOULD” be has been the first giant step to true freedom.

If a “SHOULD” comes up in your life, what disempowering belief is operating? What judgments are operating, creating resistance for the very thing you really want to attract in your life? What stories are you telling yourself about your relationships, your body, or your job?

One of my favorite spiritual leaders used to say lots of people have a degree from MSU. Making Stuff Up. Are your stories the truth? Are they assumptions that you hang onto for dear life, to create the illusion of security and safety?

I’ve adapted a saying and a way of living: I’m riding the wave of in-between.

All my life, I wanted to have my relationships defined, my workplace defined, my finances defined. And the more I demanded that definition of my life, the more I pushed it further and further away.

Imagine a small boat on the ocean close to where you are on the shoreline, with all those people and ideas of how life SHOULD be, ideas you hold so dear, symbolized by the drifting boat, floating farther out to sea.

Holding on to that belief that people and things need to be defined, because I craved a sense of security caused me years of suffering. As I came more into the consciousness of this assumption and its insidious resistance, the more I released people in my life holding the same or similar beliefs. I have now learned to create that security and safety within my own being. Somewhere, in that need to control and have security was also a hidden resentment, another SHOULD. Things are what they are. We can be with that, or make stuff up and surrender our power to old beliefs.

The more I practice riding the wave of in-between, I notice the urge to control any situation is replaced by the love and trust of the experience, no matter what the outcome.

As I ride the wave of in-between, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want certain “certainties” in my life, it just means I can let go of those attachments holding me in a pattern of feeling unsafe or insecure in my life. I choose more fun ways of being in my life, acknowledging that life can really be full and joyful. I remind myself to live my life in a space of gratitude, and trust that love and faith operate and are fully present in my life all the time; all is well now, just as it is. I don’t have to know the outcome, and I can be surprised by all the “happy accidents” showing up in my life.

Riding the wave of in-between is trusting in love instead of fear. Learning to love the in-between opens me to possibilities I could have never dreamed.