Intuition (mostly every day, these days)

When I align my being with what I believe, think, and speak, my intuitive nature comes through. Life becomes more “in the flow”; everything from finances to parking spaces open up for me. I'm more open to my intuitive messages, and hope I can utilize those gifts to help others.

Sometimes intuition move through me as words I actually hear, loud and clear. Those are clairaudient (psychic ability to hear things that are beyond the range of the ordinary power of hearing) signs. I don’t always know what the messages I receive mean when they come through me. I just trust I will understand later. Most of the time, these messages show themselves to something that happens in the future, and sometimes it's about the collective consciousness, and sometimes it's personal. Intuitive messages also come through my dreams. Here are some recent intuitive examples.

Sunday morning, September 28th, between slumber and wakefulness, I heard the words “Put America First”. I thought those were odd words to wake to, but I trusted what I heard, and knew I would understand more. I’ve trusted the messages I receive, and know it’s a gift for me to “see” what cannot be seen with the five senses.


I also decided last week to volunteer for the presidential candidate of my choice that day, canvassing targeted voters, checking if those voters were registered to vote by mail, and collecting data to be used for the “get out the vote” time as election time draws closer. For me, to take action made me feel my energy was assisting in the building the America I want to live in.

Monday, the country found itself deep in a financial crisis, with Congressional lawmakers working toward a “rescue bill” to slow the train wreck of an economy teetering on the brink of collapse. Tuesday, a bill was presented to Congress to vote on, not a great bill, but one that would send a message to the financial markets that the government would steadfastly financially back the poor decisions of financial institutions for their risky investments and lending. Credit for businesses large and small has become increasingly tight, and the reality of more and more smaller operations going under will have a major impact on us all. Congress failed to pass this rescue legislation. On Tuesday, September 29, the stock market plummeted, dropping almost 800 points, its worst loss ever.

Suddenly, the words I heard made sense. “Put America First” meant to me, coming to an agreement that served Americans, not the egos of the Congressional body.

________________________________________________________

Last night, I dreamed I was having tea with a friend. My friend and I were sitting outside, and the weather was beautiful, with absolutely blue, clear skies, and leafy, autumn trees as our semi-shady canopy. Suddenly, ants fell on me. Large, red ants, and they were biting me. My friend and I shook them off us as fast and furiously as we could. And I woke up, remembering every visual and tactile detail of my dream.

I recently talked to my aunt, whom I love dearly, so I thought maybe that was some subconscious spill-over. I also am working rapidly on lots of creative graphic projects, and I know that the ant symbolizes the ant totem of the hard worker, as well as a creature needing community for its survival. The ant works for the good of the whole. Ants also are very strong, with the ability to lift 20 to 50 times its own weight. I feel strong these days, yet lighter in many ways.

This evening, when I came home, I started chatting with my next door neighbor. I didn’t park inside my garage, knowing I would be running out to the grocery store later. As we talked, I looked down on my driveway, and there was a solid mass of hundreds upon hundreds of ants in a paved divide of my driveway.



When I get messages from my dreams, or I hear words loud and clear, that couldn’t possibly be anything I would normally (or abnormally) think about, it’s definitely time to tune in deeply to my internal landscape, and notice my external landscape. As the two blend, I receive the message I’m on the path to discover more about my intuitive gifts.

Fiscal Responsibility

When I talk to people, there's very little certainty about the nation's economy. We've seen major financial institutions on Wall Street and in the banking sector disappear for risky investment decisions, to be bought and paid for by more solvent and solid companies, with some of these companies getting incredible deals, and looking toward their future expansion.

What I am noticing, when I view the current economic situation is fear. But what I understand in my education is the fear has been there all the time. At the time of crisis, people become "more" of what they are. 

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

I've talked to people who are considering extracting tens of thousands of dollars from their 401K savings to put in the bank. I don't think they've taken a look at what's really happening with our country and the economic woes. They base their information solely on the media. Their choices are to operate out of emotions. Emotions can tell a lot of things about what's going on inside you. Sometimes our emotions revert us back to our wounded child. I don't think I would want my 7 year-old wound self making decisions that could impact my future opportunities. So I don't operate from my emotions, unless I've done my emotional "sit-ups". I ask the hard questions. I research. I tune in and don't numb out. And I definitely don't follow the herd.

Yes, I've seen my retirement savings lose about 11% in the past several months. If I were to "cash out" my savings, I would be losing a whole lot more than that, (more like giving the tax structure a great big present) and I would be operating under fear. I'm not in denial. I invested for the long term, not the short term (short term, risky returns is the reason this mess got started anyway). I actually know there's some big opportunities to be had in the current market, and my optimism isn't misplaced.

If fear or any other emotion drives your decisions, whether you are in a crisis, or moving through life with with no parachute needed, you are not in control. Your emotions are running the show. When you trust information from outside yourself, you are letting the environment you live in dictate your choices. I'm not saying to live in denial. I'm saying, conduct your life with due diligence, investigate, research, know how you emotionally operate, and why you do what you do. A life coach can help you see the big picture of yourself and your best life.

Look at how you respond to life and crisis. It's important to train yourself to be emotionally fit. Discover your emotional patterns, and when the news isn't what you'd rather hear, have the tools to handle life with creativity and live life on your own sensible terms, not living life by operating on how other people and the current environment look and feel.



Before I left for the last coaching intensive, we were asked to look at one area of our life, where we needed to improve. I chose my finances. We were asked to come up with an action step that was measurable, that we could take, to radically improve our life in that specific area. I chose to create a budget for myself, and a plan to pay my current debt down. I also challenged myself to spend money only where I felt it was important to, and although I would love to go to workshops where I can learn and grow, I decided to put my present and future first, stick with a payment plan so I could have stability to do the things I know I want to do later. Since much of my income was from freelancing, one of the other things I knew I needed to take action on was to find a reliable work position that paid me on a regular basis. I couldn't produce a budget if I didn't know what my income looked like.

It took some time, but I found the perfect work opportunity, and really am enjoying the work I'm doing. I threw a lot of fishing lines out to find the position I currently have, and was willing to do most anything in my field, but I also allowed myself to think bigger, and out of the box, and my work life is better than I could have imagined since I chose to be open-minded and look at unlimited possibilities, and not see myself doing something specific, and pigeon-hole myself and my skills.

It's important to build certainty in my own life, and make plans to succeed. That's why I am being trained as an integrative coach. I know I will be able to help others get what they want with my excellent training.

The best part about building certainty, is creating fun along the way, and knowing that life can be better than I ever imagined!

Safety in Community

Recently, I spent some time with the amazing community of coaches, participants, assistants, and staff of the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching. And, of course, Debbie Ford, who always makes me smile and think with my heart. For four days, we immersed ourselves in the processes of revealing our individual “blueprints” of behaviors and actions, to uncover the gifts our habits, beliefs, patterns, and stories had to offer. To know my own story, and to know that I am not solely my story assists me to "step out" of my story, my limited perception in who I am and what I'm capable of, and I can understand the bigger picture of my part in the community of humankind. Allowing me to reveal my story, as well as opening up to others and hearing their stories by really listening with my heart, without judgment can unlock the shackles of limitation imprisoning us, keeping us stuck and small. When someone like a well-trained coach holds the global reflection to me of the “bigger picture” of my true potential, I am gifted with endless possibilities.

My blogs to come will reflect on thoughts and ideas planted and fertilized from the Blueprint Intensive. Four days of dwelling in many thought-provoking processes, allowing myself to feel connected to so many people (some on this journey with me since my first Shadow Process with the Ford Institute from September 2007) and having this family allow me to be a witness to extraordinary shifts in personal perception is both humbling and exhilarating. I love myself more, and I love all the people on this path. Internal reflection is, to me, a sacred journey, and I do my best to open that vast portal of sacredness in all I do. When even cleaning the cat litter box becomes a sacred act, there's not much to avoid, procrastinate on, or numb out to. (Maybe cleaning cat litter isn't my most favorite sacred act, but my sweet 17-year old cat Sturgis offers me such incredible unconditional love and fun, and he thinks it's a vital act, and so it is.) When we connect all the actions of our lives with deep holiness and reverence, every single act, sort of like connecting the dots on a piece of paper to reveal the visual picture that helps shape our understanding of this life, the shifts in perception become more noticeable and frequent. 

There are many people on this planet, walking this path of self-discovery, recovery, honoring their divine nature, and remembering. In this special community of the Institute for Integrative Coaching, safety and confidentiality is a paramount element, and hopefully my writings exhibit respect for those elements with humor and love. Debbie and her staff build a safe container of love, non-judgment, respect, and wisdom, and I have learned from my own "story", and other people on this path that feeling safe truly is the gift I can give myself, as well as hold the space for others and their safety.

Louise L. Hay's affirmation “I am safe, and all is well in my world” comes to mind. Allow that affirmation to become you in this moment.

My new web site

I have updated my web site. It's been a long time coming.

http://www.lorishin.com

There's still a lot of refining to do, but it's been more work and more fun than I thought it would be.

You Can Heal Your Life (The Movie)

In my last blog post, I mentioned the “free gift” when you join the Hayhouse Wisdom Community. When you join, your free gift is the movie about Louise L. Hay, founder of Hayhouse International. Check out the trailer from You Can Heal Your Life (The Movie).



There are two versions of the movie; one is the expanded version, (not the “free gift” version), with interviews from some of the inspirational and spiritual people seen in the movie. To order the movie without becoming a part of the Wisdom Community, click here.

Smack to the Present (as opposed the Back to the Future)

This morning I was making my bed, like I do most mornings. I guess I was in a rush to get on with my day, because I smacked one of my fingers against the brass and iron bed footboard. Something about intense, acute, physical pain snapped my attention, my body, my focus to the here and now. My hand hurt in the present.

Think about your life. What actions bring you to embodying the head, the heart, your full body, and presence? Are they pleasurable or painful experiences? Now, here's a deeper question... Is your head, heart, or physical body feeling the pain of the past, or the longing for the future?

As I stood there with my throbbing finger, I pondered that very thought.

Just for a short time, tune in to your body. Right here, right now. The fastest way to get present is to consciously notice your breath, and bring your awareness on how you breathe in and breathe out. Are you slowing down, with your thoughts and feelings? Can you feel your weight in the chair, or your back as it leans against the backrest? Are you feeling calm? Are you thinking “what’s the point”? Every experience could be your attachment to the past, or to the present moment and a pattern you've chose to accept in your life.

Listen to this excerpt from life coach Cheryl Richardson’s weekly call-in internet radio show, Coach on Call, taken from Hayhouse Radio.com. You can sign up to receive podcasts of each week’s show for free for seven days, or better yet, became a part of the Hayhouse Wisdom Community, and you'll have access to over 3,000 hours worth of archived shows, and I know something will pique your interest. And when you are a part of the Wisdom Community, those podcasts are commercial-free. Click on the Hayhouse link to get started. Hayhouse will even give you a free gift while supplies last. (You can check out your free gift with the blog post directly following this one.) You’ll also receive discounts on events and publications from the Hayhouse family of products.



My hand no longer throbs in pain, yet the memory of pain or painful experiences can bring me right back to that place of unwanted sensation in my mind and body. I have daily practices to bring me back home to my body, mind, and spirit. I still wonder; how often through years of habitual ways of being or thinking have we humans felt pain from our past? I know I don’t like smacking myself, yet I know I have had that thought pattern of beating myself up in the past. This morning, smacking my hand brought me to radical consciousness, but what patterns of internal “smacking” do I engage in on a daily basis?

Living my life from situations I grew up with, experienced as the years progressed, and with those opportunities from long ago and recent, I have schooled myself in unconditional love and acceptance. Those lessons weren't taught by my mother or my father. In fact, their offerings were of their own experiences; judgments and conditions they chose to adopt. I chose to believe more empowering ways of being, and living my life. It’s a recent practice for me to give that much love and respect to myself. I know you are loved and accepted by someone or something in your life, too. When you provide that gift of unconditional love to yourself, and you stop smacking yourself with your thoughts or actions of self-sabotage, you have the amazing ability to manage whatever life hands you, with grace and gratitude.

Water Crystal energized by the words
and thoughts Thank You (in Japanese)

We always have choice and we can repattern our lives to feel better than we ever could have imagined. Sometimes we need some assistance in feeling better about ourselves, and a certified coach can lend that helping hand to bring you back to the present. Then, the future becomes unlimited with potential.

Being Receptive to Nature’s Teachings

One of my daily practices to stay in balance is walking in nature. I’m blessed to live directly across from a lake, where I have a beautiful gift of glorious mountain vistas, plentiful vegetation and wildlife, and a path to walk within the magic of the natural world.

Do you walk in nature? What can the natural world convey to you?

Shamans receive messages from the natural world, and although the interpretations can vary, some essential and powerful elements provide the groundwork to integrate in daily life. The key is to pay attention. We humans are of the natural world, but with our busy lives, sometimes we forget. The spirits of the land and the animals remind us to slow down, take notice, and connect with the earth, air, water, and fire; the elements that make up what we see in the physical world. Our bodies are containers for those very elements, and when we recognize this connection, magical happenings take place.

Some of my sightings of animals and their totems (power gifts) and their messages to us humans are interpreted from the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews published Llewellyn. Some are my interpretations after meditating on what the particular animal's message is for my life. You can check out those interpretations at the end of this posting. The messages I receive from nature come from the elements, directions, colors, natural behaviors, and internal knowledge that I'm experienced through six-sensory living.

I choose the early morning to walk in nature. The cool air of the morning reminds me that breath is essential for all life. I consciously fill my lungs with the fresh air of the morning. With the inhalation, I receive; with the exhalation, I give. The outer and the inner world meet in the pause between breaths. I greet the magic of the new day with this simple practice of conscious breath.

The water is alive. Water is the receptive element, and takes on its container. I usually see fish breaking the lake’s surface. Sometimes the lake is very still, like glass. Sometimes it’s choppy and full of movement on the surface. Water fowl of every kind make this lake their own watering hole. Today, I watched as a blue heron flew over my head, moving east towards a suitable landing. There is also a pair of white pelicans who are fond of resting near the western side of the lake. Sometimes in the mornings, I will see two sets of pelicans close to each other, near the shore, where the fish congregate.

The breaking dawn through the horizon (the fire element) moves me to walk a little faster (fire is a great inspiration element, and I choose to finish my walk before the heat of the day).

Walking a sacred path on the earth allows grounding and stability. The great mother Earth will always support me in this physical life, and I daily give thanks and gratitude, for each living being I come into contact with.

I always see young brown rabbits, with their soft, puffy cottontails, munching on grasses and predictability skittish when a dog and owner travel by.








Once in a while I will happen on a coyote. With plenty of rabbits as prey, the coyotes have no issues with going hungry.

All songbirds have the totem of communication and expression through sound. The morning air is filled with their beautiful songs.

Birds make their migration pit-stop at the lake, and I observe and enjoy. The most spectacular bird I’ve seen, color-wise, is the beautiful Western Tanager.

To me, the tanager offers me a message to say “yes” to passion and color in my life. I can reflect what tanager offers me by relishing in being seen, and even a little showy and flirtatious in the world.

Red-winged blackbirds and yellow blackbirds (black to me is the “shadow” color) remind me to look within my own energetic world to see how I can illuminate what beliefs, patterns, and habits I have disowned or disregarded. The male red-winged blackbird, has white bars, red, and yellow, reminding me that I can lighten up with each new day, and renew my passion any time I choose (white, yellow, and red).

• Black: the color of the shadow, and the hidden gifts to be illuminated, the ancestors
  
• White: the color of purity and integration; color of spirit
  
• Red: the color of passion; associated with the direction of south, element of fire; the healer
• Green: the color of fertile earth, the warrior archetype, the direction of north
  
• Yellow: the color of new beginnings, inspiration through inner knowing and intellect; associated with the direction of east, element of air; the visionary
  
• West: associations with the teacher; color association blue, element of water, the color of the sky, emotion;
• Pelican: Renewed buoyancy and unselfishness, coming up and staying on the “top” of the water (emotions) easily and effortlessly. Pelicans don’t lift off too easily from their watery habitat. Sometimes our emotions (when unexpressed) weigh us down. Pelicans work cooperatively with their kind to fish in tandem for the greater good of the community. Seeing two or more pairs of pelicans are common, and their ability to work without competition is a gentle reminder that our survival is dependant on common goals and working with teamwork.
• Heron: Self-determination, self-reliance. The long legs provide the stability in the deep waters where the heron feeds. The water element symbolizes emotion, and being able to stand on one’s own, in the middle of an emotional or fearful situation is a positive trait.
• Flying east: moving toward intellect and internal knowing.
• Brown: earth color, from the Mother Earth, maternal
• Rabbit: fertility, new life, fear, seeking protection, burrowing, quick to change direction, camouflage, adaptability.
• Coyote: Wisdom and Folly. Native American traditions refer to the coyote as the trickster, a fun-loving, playful predator. Coyote is intelligent and adaptable, and can be found easily in the city as in the wild, wide open spaces. Coyotes are social and cooperative when they hunt. Their family units are close knit, and often mate for life. The coyote totem is one of many contrasts. It reminds me to be focused, but not to take life too seriously.

Try It On Everything!

Deep down, you know that there's more to life than what you're living. You crave a sense of freedom, of peace, of joy that you know is your innate birthright. But how do you find your way there? In this topsy-turvy world, with all of its demands, responsibilities and pressure.... it sometimes feels like the pain, hurt and drama will never end.

There is a way to reclaim the joy you know you're meant to be living. There is a way to feel free of old hurts. There is a way to let go of things you never dreamed you could....

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a startling new discovery based on Ancient Chinese Medicine. Some call it "Emotional Acupressure." Other people have named it "Energy Psychology" Whatever you call it, one fact stands out: IT WORKS!

Order the DVD here!

The Practice of Everyday Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Mark Twain

So many spiritual teachings across the planet speak about the concept of forgiveness. For me, I have immersed myself in the waters of forgiveness, and know I have come home to myself.

I look back on my life and realize how much energy I directed on blame, resentment, and anger. As I look at those feelings and emotions, I see the results of what I brought into my life. Those outcomes were not pretty. My childhood wasn't ideal. I felt someone was "doing something" to me and I had no choices. It made me angry to believe I didn't have choices, and was powerless. That belief in itself created a victim mentality, and a pattern that was a challenge to me. I attracted people to me with the same angry energy. I realize now how I created just the thing I believed. I know now that beliefs are a choice, and I choose more empowering beliefs.

Each day I practice forgiveness. It’s a fairly recent practice of a few years now, but the practice is now habit and deepens my connection to peace. I have healed so much through the lovingkindness of forgiveness.

As I practiced forgiveness of myself and others, I saw relationships that were once important to me disappear. Do I love those people any less? Not at all. I realize that each and every day, I choose to not put anyone outside my heart. Do I wish I chose to do things different with some of those people? Of course, I do. When I could, I expressed to them (verbally or in a letter) the feelings and forgiveness that I hoped for from those cherished ones. But in the end, for me, I had to let go of any outcomes, especially when the letters went unanswered or even came back unopened. I couldn’t control or manipulate a situation. That was an old pattern. I couldn't make anyone wrong. It was with deep faith that I learned to let go, and let the Universe manage the outcome. Some relationships deepened more fully when I allowed people to be perfect just as they are. I hope those relationships will continue to blossom in my life.

I also couldn’t beat up or berate myself for what I had done. Sometimes I didn't even know what I had done. And I learned it didn't matter what I had done. I did my best to make things right and live in integrity. I sensed I needed to heal, and move forward. Forgiveness was the only practice that made sense. The vibration of forgiveness is one of power, even though it is often a practice of surrender.

It’s oh so important to feel the feelings and emotions that one feels. Being able to express those feelings and emotions in a safe environment can keep the body and mind from taking on those “beliefs”. I’ve said many times emotion is “energy in motion”, and like a river that flows effortlessly, until some obstruction dams the circulation, our emotions need expression. When emotions become stagnant in the body, we experience pain, sometimes physically, and many times spiritually and mentally. For me, I move the energy with dance and exercise. I also meditate and pray, and take on something creative, like writing, journaling, or painting.

Anger can be an amazing catalyst for change. Have you ever had a job you actually hated but resigned yourself to go to day after day after day. One day, though, there was one galvanizing moment when that emotion of anger motivated you to finally take action to move toward something else. The anger or hate wasn’t really about the job, it was about how you "allowed yourself" to experience something that didn’t “fit” for you, and your desire for something else spurred you onward to another choice. When anger gets stuck, though, that particular emotion can have devastating effects. Turned inward, anger turns into depression. If you ran into your office to quit your despised job and "burn bridges" behind you, that’s when anger is out of control, and self-sabotage occurs. No one wins in that situation.

I think anger can become an amazing teacher with a lesson. When we experience anger, there is a feeling of powerlessness. We get angry when we think a situation “should” have been different. I can make the situation different when I choose to take action and see a situation as a new opportunity. I can choose empowerment.


Anyone who has ever observed a baby has seen the full range of emotions, quite possibly in the span of five minutes. Babies can reflect the nuances of joy, bliss, anger, and frustration in the matter of a few minutes. Adults can take some lessons from infants on letting go of emotions quickly. This world is full of opportunities to practice releasing emotions in a positive way. Holding onto emotions can’t literally happen in our hands; as water drips and drizzles through our grasping fist, emotions can move through and out the body as easily, in a healthy way, with practice. For me it takes mindfulness and being at ease with whatever comes up in my life. I don’t always succeed. I do always get lots of practice. I get better and better at it with practice.

As I deepen my practice of forgiveness, I set aside or dissipate blame, resentment, anger, complaining, and judgment. I realize that insisting on being right doesn’t allow for expansiveness. My need for knowing and controlling situations is surrendered to more openness, where anything could happen, and I look forward to a better situation. Often, miracles show up. Then I get to practice gratitude. That's also a daily practice of mindfully seeing everything (absolutely everything) with gratitude.

I’ve learned forgiveness isn’t about anybody else. It’s about deepening my way “home” to myself. I've learned forgiveness is about forgiving myself and letting go. Then there's more room for the fun things in life.

Honoring the Totality

When people integrate all their aspects, their darkest parts that they would rather not be, along with their lightest selves, and do the work to heal the split, instead of attempting to destroy and annihilate their shadow aspects, amazing things happen. Personally, I have experienced so many extraordinary breakthroughs, and huge “ah-ha” moments, due to my willingness to love the totality of who I am.

Healing the split between our light and our dark is the transformative work of Debbie Ford. As I continue the journey of student in the Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching, I invite you to take a glimpse of the work that truly will transform you.



Debbie's new book, Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy, is a powerful guide to understanding our behaviors of self-sabotage, and addictions.

Want to step it up? Attend Debbie's next Shadow Process workshop from April 24 - 27, 2008, in San Diego. Sign up here. You can even find an integrative coach on this site, and get a free 30 minute personal session with one of Debbie's amazing coaches.

A Dose of Humility

I’m a life student observing and living how life works metaphysically. I make mistakes in my life along the way as a student in the Earth School, and I do my best to learn from my lessons. I have gratitude for each of my unique experiences, and all the various lessons I go through. I do my best not to be “spiritually arrogant”. Sometimes I am, though. That’s the humanness of who I am. Sometimes a dose of humility is just the grounding I need to bring myself back to consciousness.

Sometimes I run into someone who proclaims of a deepened, high consciousness. I happened on a person like that a few weeks ago, while attending my weekly Saturday NIA class. I walked into the dance space after my short drive, my MP3 earphones in place, from listening to a podcast with an interview of Neale Donald Walsch downloaded from Beyond Reason. (You can go the Beyond Reason website, or subscribe to this free podcast through itunes; connect to itunes from the button on the right side of this page.)

Neale is the best-selling author of the Conversations with God series. He mentioned some beautiful and profound ideas in the podcast about happiness, and I actually look forward to listening again. His new book is called Happier Than God.

I noticed two women I had never met before in the dance space as we waited for the facilitator to arrive, so I turned off my audio player and introduced myself, and mentioned the podcast I was so engrossed in listening to.

One of the women introduced herself, then proceeded to inform me how long she’s been “on the path” (34 years or so). She then went on to diminish Neale and his “simplistic writings”. This woman then proclaimed to be a “wordsmith”, and do her best to express to me she is a “master” in the teachings of conscious living. I just listened to her. I breathed. Her proclamation disturbed me at first, and I could sense that disturbance rising in my body. I wasn't angry with her opinions; I was a bit turned off by her arrogance.

Now this all has me laughing internally. I chuckle partly at myself; the universal reminder that provides me with someone to mirror back to me that I can be just as arrogant, when I operate out of the ego self, and not the soul level. When the class facilitator arrived, I challenged myself to resource my body and move with those feelings (judgment, mirroring, questioning myself, righteous positions), notice those bodily sensations, and dance the way my body needed to get clear, be in the present moment, release resistance, and honor any emotion that came up. Dancing works for me to be a clear instrument for acceptance of myself and others. I was in the perfect place at the perfect time to move emotions through. I released and let go.

Emotion (energy in motion)...

Some words I’ve heard before seeped into my consciousness; if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him! Those words to me symbolize when I look outwardly to pursue any ideal or truth and forget my own inner wisdom, I’m only seeing half the picture. Striking another cord in my consciousness, another thought leaked through; when someone proclaims they ARE someone or something, they are leaving out the shadow aspects of their persona. This woman claimed to be on an enlightened path, but she chose words to defend her path with a boat-load of vehemence, and her words belittled others on a spiritual path. I sense there’s a strong “shadow” side that’s hiding in that proclamation. I’m not making this person wrong; I understand there is more to a person than the ego self insisting that statement of “I Am” this, and “I Am” that. I believe there is a spiritual woman that stood before me; perhaps her words might have reflected more affection for all who walk the path. We are all that is, was, or ever will be. There is nothing that we are not; as is the Source energy with the thousand names. Whatever you choose to name that which can't be named, I am that, and you are that.

There’s more, though. As I clench tightly to my own thoughts or beliefs, hoping to retain my own position, it’s time for me to look closer, and even scrutinize my beliefs, checking the false self and its operation. Clutching onto anything, such as a concept of who I am, as well as applying a defense of my persona, even to myself, sets me up for attracting what I least want to happen in my life. There is the smack of righteousness in grasping fiercely at aspects I believe to be me, as well as not owning the aspects of me I would rather not “be”.

Loving all of my aspects, dark and light, integrates total acceptance at the most profound level. Like a pebble in a pond, the ripple moves from the inner world to the outer world. Letting go of the pattern and filter opens me up to so much more love, possibilities, and expansiveness.

Are You On The Journey?

Last week I received my brand-new passport, reflecting my current address and name. Reading the memoir Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert a few months ago became the catalyst for my recent desire to update my documentation. Although I’m not planning a journey out of the country, that book got me to ponder about exploring new territories, journeying, and the path I travel every single day.

Now, another book I’ve started reading has me wondering about boundaries, identity, and why my passport is just a tip of the iceberg of the person I am (at least in physical form).

The book I am reading (and millions of people) is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now. Thanks to Oprah Winfrey’s ten-week “webcast” class, this book, number one paperback advice best-seller on The New York Times list, has people thinking, learning, and talking about consciousness.

Back to the passport, as I was reading in A New Earth, I got to thinking of the traits that define me. Most of my self-identity in the past has been ego-driven. I tend to think a bit differently now. With this little navy-bound book full of colorful, blank pages, my gender, my age, my birthplace, my citizenship defines me to my country’s state department. Or maybe that is what I choose to perceive. I know I am more than those defined traits. Future stamps from other countries that will become imprinted on these fresh, empty pages will define the boundaries I step through in the physical plane, and hopefully, I will experience more than amazing scenery and exotic foods. I hope to experience life with all my journeys, with an open heart and without judgment. Relationships mean a whole lot more to me these days. I see opportunity in that. Yet for me, I truly want to one day experience a world where boundaries are blurred, and the time where separation between people dissolves, and we honor our diversity as well as our similarities. That journey begins with myself, with consciousness and action, self-love, non-judgment and acceptance.

I really feel that a huge shift in planetary consciousness is at hand, with this global "webinar" opportunity to explore the inner landscape of our thoughts and beliefs. Are you ready to take the journey?
Click here to go to Oprah’s website. You can purchase A New Earth at amazon.com, at the link to the right. Class starts Monday evening March 3rd (7:00 pm Mountain Time).

Reconciling Energy

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer

There are things I’m unable to change in my outer world until I do the inner work. I have certainty I can change my perceptions, positions, and beliefs, and when I do, I’ll see the change reflected in the world around me.

Recently, I’ve been digesting my four months of being coached, which included journaling, maintaining a regular relaxation and spiritual practice, and reviewing the four-day intensive, where I journeyed to San Diego. So many benefits came from my journey of looking deeply at every aspect of my life. It’s time to reconcile my energy, and acknowledge the path I walk every day, with humility and honor.

Reconciling my energy, to me, means living my life with as much consciousness and passion as possible. As I move through this human life, walking a spiritual path, and having fun along the way, will all my actions always reflect my beliefs? Probably not. I’m human. But bringing more consciousness to my actions daily when they aren't in alignment with my beliefs will allow me to know when I’m on course toward what I say I want to create in my life. That doesn’t mean I beat myself up when I’m charting off course, or listing out to sea. In fact, that’s really the time to bring precious compassion and love to myself. I steer back toward what I know is true and kind to my nature, and bring the sails closer into my center. I owe myself true loving-kindness, and at my core, that self-love will spiral outward, creating a more loving world.

I’ve reflected on so many ways I chose to make myself “wrong” in the past. It’s almost comical. I can come up with new self-realizations about why I do what I do, on a daily basis. I'll be making my bed, and all of the sudden, I will "awaken" to another belief that doesn't serve my highest good.

One of these beliefs was a core belief that I needed to be “strong and stoic” in the world and I made it “wrong” to show my sensitive nature in public. The truth is that I feel emotions deeply, and when I emote, it’s a very healthy release, and a sign of strength, that I can “be with” who I am. I realize where I took on the belief that being sensitive was “wrong” (at a very tender age, about four years old), and why (survival; a mother who was challenged with her own issues and her being bi-polar). The great thing is, I now get to honor my sensitivity, and know that’s just a beautiful, gentle aspect of my personality. I don't make my mother wrong, either. She was exactly who she needed to be, for me to be who I am. I get to see where I’ve attracted people who reinforced my “cover-up” of my sensitive nature; I’ve also attracted people who have “covered up” their sensitivity, too. Even if they aren’t in my life any more, I am grateful for their gifts, and what I have learned about myself in my knowing them. And I can love them, let them go, and allow them be who they need to be.

Change is an inevitable part of life. The flower might start as a seed, and if planted in the right spot, and nurtured, it will blossom, bloom, wither, pass, and be recycled into the earth. Nature doesn’t fight itself. There is a cycle, and all of nature moves with ease through its cycle. People are different than plants. Yet life really does operate with ease, if there is the belief that there is ease. If I hold on to one belief or something in the physical world too strongly, I might miss that reconciling energy that allows me something even greater than I could have imagined, with ease and little effort. I now look a new adventure in living every day. I spend time inviting change into my life and allow a “new” way of being, thinking, and feeling to permeate my life.

Each day, I choose change in an amazing, fun way.

Beliefs, Addictions, and Habits (Oh My!)

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Dorothy, to her dog Toto,
The Wizard of Oz

I’m human; I do it. I repeat the very things that don't work in my life. As I work on my own life, beliefs, addictions, and habits spring forth. I’m currently managing a pattern that has reared its ugly head in my life. Again. Meaning, not the first time. Only, now I know, I created this habitual way of being, and I possess new skills and some mindful ways to transform my experience. I've stopped reacting and begun responding, utilizing improved approaches to old habits.

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

attributed to Albert Einstein,
US (German-born) physicist (1879–1955)

When I find myself some place in my life that isn’t working for me, chances are, I’ve become attached like Velcro to a belief or a behavior that has brought the very thing I despise into my life. With consciousness, I can choose another belief or behavior, and change what isn’t working and create I actually want in my life. The belief of deserving a great life has to be paramount. Admitting a situation isn’t working for me becomes my catalyst. My emotions tell me right away whether something is working or not. Taking 100% responsibility for the choices that pointed me to pain, suffering, and self-discovery becomes my next step.

Responsibility: the ability to respond. Deciding to do something differently moves me closer to stepping into my own power, and having what I want.



I quit lying to myself. Everyone lies. We lie mostly to ourselves. It’s a part of our humanity. We want to believe the things we perceive as “bad things” that happen to us are going to stop happening. (I am reminded of the television show, The X-Files, and the poster that the F.B.I. character Mulder had hanging in his office). There is no "out there", though. That is a lie that I think I believed for a long time. We create the "bad things" as well as the "good things" in our lives. That's hard to swallow, but that's my responsibility to accept. Then, to be totally honest and true to my nature opens me up to vulnerability. That can be scary or liberating. It's my choice how to perceive my true nature. Acting with bravado and concealing my emotions masks what’s really going on internally. Another lie. Light years from my true nature.

If I’m dealing with a situation involving another person, it’s beneficial to honor that person’s true nature, too, whether I respond positively or negatively to “who they are”. If the resonance between us is “negative”, chances are, there's a huge lesson to learn from this person for myself, since people tend to mirror back the aspects of my nature I’d rather not acknowledge or deal with or even might even despise in myself. I get to honestly examine my beliefs and habits, and when I quit lying to myself, I have a chance to expand my thinking. I collect information to explore the best way for me to make my choices work, in a productive and positive manner, from the heart more than the head, and then I take action. I can’t indulge in “magical thinking”. Magical thinking is the belief that if I think my situation will be different, it will somehow be different.

Magical thinking doesn’t work with abusers who promise they will never abuse again. Magical thinking doesn’t work for those who have experienced some form of abuse. Magical thinking doesn’t work with addicts who say they will quit their addiction cold-turkey. I define addiction as a dependency to a behavior, emotion, or external substance. Magical thinking won’t curb food addictions, chemical addictions, and emotional and behavioral addictions.

A strong belief showing up as a self-righteous stance might be an addiction. I think of a righteous position as a sort of metaphysically drawn “line in the sand”, a belief created to divide; it’s me versus them. That one-way inclination of thinking alienates me from people, so in the end, the crusade becomes me versus me. I could choose to judge a situation, a group of people, a whole country for something as insignificant as what foot they use to take a step with first when walking. Something tells me big wars and small misunderstandings escalate from the belief of "I'm right and you're wrong". Relationships become stretched and strained to the breaking point. Recognizing and letting go of my self-righteous positions opens me up to infinite freedom and gratitude for the present moment. It’s the false ego-self that craves the nourishment of self-righteousness. Feed the ego-self sustained and fueled with a righteous position, and there’s a guaranteed battle brewing for the future; an fierce internal conflict where there are absolutely no victors.

Sometimes moving forward and taking action necessitates external assistance. Assistance can look like counseling and therapy, hypnotherapy, life coaching, a spiritual practitioner, or simply reaching out to friends and family. I’m here on this planet with about 6,642,398,998 other people. Someone out there may have a fresh perspective about a situation I’m experiencing and desiring change with. Reaching out to someone offers fresh ideas to my experience. There are people in my life who see the truth of who I am, when I’ve misplaced my inner knowing between where I’ve been and where I’m going. I am grateful to know “you’re out there”.

Virtual Me

It’s an amazing world where I can shop online, even for clothing, and have that clothing delivered to my door days later.

It’s wintertime here in Colorado. Today was an unusually balmy day, in the low 60s. The area is expecting snow in the coming days. Winter isn’t the usual time of year most people think about purchasing a swimsuit. In fact, most women I know become fear-stricken at the thought of standing in a public department store dressing room, in harsh fluorescent lighting, facing three strategically angled mirrors, viewing their very own body with criticism and self-loathing, by squeezing into a swimsuit.

My exercise routine these days consists of traveling to the local recreation center’s pool, every other day, and being in the water to stretch, walk, and do what I can to create more flexibility in my body. My left foot continues to be swollen from November’s surgery, and the water actually helps my foot a lot. I also get to spend some time in the jetted hot tub, and that hot water helps my muscles relax a little. So a new swimsuit was in order, and alternating between the suits I have will help them all last longer.

I admit, shopping for a swimsuit for myself had been an activity reaching the excitement level of cleaning my cat’s litter box. That is, until I took the swimsuit I wanted to consider buying and “try it on” virtually. Most women in the U.S are hypercritical of their bodies, and maybe we women have made it “mean” something about having a physical body that isn’t like a supermodel. I do my best to love my body just as it is. I’m taking action to help my body feel and look better on a daily basis. Water aerobics is just one way to love myself. It's a nice, playful way for me to be in my body, too.

Although I think the Virtual Me is a little flattering, and I could point out each and every one of my physical flaws, the virtual drawing isn’t too far off from what I look like. I entered my “fit” profile information, including options of hair length and color, if I’m a “more mature” face, my skin color, and this is the most fun way to “try on ” a swimsuit that I ever had. I received the suit in the mail, and it fits great!

It wasn’t in the gene pool for me to have long model legs, or a long model torso. At 5 foot 0 inches, I am what I am, and I work with what I am, and where I want to go. Fitness and nutrition is a daily choice. Beliefs also are my daily choices. Fitness and beauty comes from the inside out, from a peaceful spirit, willing to grow, expand, and explore. And I can be happy in this very moment, as I am, because I know happiness is a conscious choice.