Reconciling Energy

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer

There are things I’m unable to change in my outer world until I do the inner work. I have certainty I can change my perceptions, positions, and beliefs, and when I do, I’ll see the change reflected in the world around me.

Recently, I’ve been digesting my four months of being coached, which included journaling, maintaining a regular relaxation and spiritual practice, and reviewing the four-day intensive, where I journeyed to San Diego. So many benefits came from my journey of looking deeply at every aspect of my life. It’s time to reconcile my energy, and acknowledge the path I walk every day, with humility and honor.

Reconciling my energy, to me, means living my life with as much consciousness and passion as possible. As I move through this human life, walking a spiritual path, and having fun along the way, will all my actions always reflect my beliefs? Probably not. I’m human. But bringing more consciousness to my actions daily when they aren't in alignment with my beliefs will allow me to know when I’m on course toward what I say I want to create in my life. That doesn’t mean I beat myself up when I’m charting off course, or listing out to sea. In fact, that’s really the time to bring precious compassion and love to myself. I steer back toward what I know is true and kind to my nature, and bring the sails closer into my center. I owe myself true loving-kindness, and at my core, that self-love will spiral outward, creating a more loving world.

I’ve reflected on so many ways I chose to make myself “wrong” in the past. It’s almost comical. I can come up with new self-realizations about why I do what I do, on a daily basis. I'll be making my bed, and all of the sudden, I will "awaken" to another belief that doesn't serve my highest good.

One of these beliefs was a core belief that I needed to be “strong and stoic” in the world and I made it “wrong” to show my sensitive nature in public. The truth is that I feel emotions deeply, and when I emote, it’s a very healthy release, and a sign of strength, that I can “be with” who I am. I realize where I took on the belief that being sensitive was “wrong” (at a very tender age, about four years old), and why (survival; a mother who was challenged with her own issues and her being bi-polar). The great thing is, I now get to honor my sensitivity, and know that’s just a beautiful, gentle aspect of my personality. I don't make my mother wrong, either. She was exactly who she needed to be, for me to be who I am. I get to see where I’ve attracted people who reinforced my “cover-up” of my sensitive nature; I’ve also attracted people who have “covered up” their sensitivity, too. Even if they aren’t in my life any more, I am grateful for their gifts, and what I have learned about myself in my knowing them. And I can love them, let them go, and allow them be who they need to be.

Change is an inevitable part of life. The flower might start as a seed, and if planted in the right spot, and nurtured, it will blossom, bloom, wither, pass, and be recycled into the earth. Nature doesn’t fight itself. There is a cycle, and all of nature moves with ease through its cycle. People are different than plants. Yet life really does operate with ease, if there is the belief that there is ease. If I hold on to one belief or something in the physical world too strongly, I might miss that reconciling energy that allows me something even greater than I could have imagined, with ease and little effort. I now look a new adventure in living every day. I spend time inviting change into my life and allow a “new” way of being, thinking, and feeling to permeate my life.

Each day, I choose change in an amazing, fun way.