Working with Change and Cleaning Strawberries

"Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand."

Oprah Winfrey

Sometimes doing something different is, well, different!

This morning my regular “workout place” is closed. It will be closed for maintenance and upgrading of equipment for six more days. I really look forward to going to the recreation center for my exercise and stretching. I’m not fanatical, but in order to feel fitter and enjoy fitness as a welcome, regular activity, I like working out at my rec center. Marty, the smiling, upbeat, and highly goofy reception person greets me before my workout, and he always says something that has me laughing (and at 5:30 am, that is a huge feat). He takes my pass, scans it, asks if I need a lock or a towel, and then I’m on my way to working out, first with stretching, then on the cardio machines.

Annual pass holders for my neighborhood recreation center are invited to visit the recreation center in the next town over (about 6 miles away) while maintenance week is taking place. The rec center in the next town opens their doors a bit later than the one in my town, so I planned my day today to go and be there when the center opened.

When I drove up to the recreation center, I noticed a line had formed outside, with people waiting for the facility to open, although it was time to open. I never had to wait for my neighborhood center to open, so this was a different experience. Since I’ve never worked out at this facility, I had to ask where the cardio machines where (I had to go up a flight of stairs to get to the workout machines). They were situated in the corners of the second floor (there is a track around the perimeter of the second floor that people can walk or run on). This was another different environment to adjust to; another opportunity. None of the machines were lined up with one another; they were sort of staggered about so they could fit the maximum amount of equipment in the minimized space. A woman with perfume started working out next to me (and I admit, I get challenged with fragrance in a work-out environment), so I physically and mentally focused my energy toward my exercise, and the radio show I had downloaded to my MP3 player. The machine was nice, and a little newer than the elliptical cross-trainer I normally use.

I worked out for 30 minutes on this machine, and I made it through my workout; it was different than what I was used to.

I decided it was a good day to work with “different”.



When I came home, I was very hungry. For breakfast, I normally make a shake or smoothie in the morning, with protein powder, crushed ice, a small amount of juice, and fresh or frozen fruit. I blend those ingredients together so it's nice and smooth. That seems to fill me up, and I feel like I’m getting a pretty nutritious meal for the time I spend putting it together.

I pulled out two quarts of organic strawberries from the refrigerator to prep. I squatted down to a low kitchen cabinet, reached in to find a plastic colander to place the strawberries in to rinse off and clean. I also pulled out a container to hold the strawberries once I cleaned them, from out of the same cabinet. I did all this as quietly as possible, since my roommate sleeps downstairs below the kitchen, and it was still early morning.

I’m right handed, I thought I would change the way I go through the process in the present moment, so I picked up the knife with my left hand and began cutting off the green tops of the strawberries carefully, using the hand I don't normally use for writing, cutting, or doing fine detailed hand work. Precision wasn’t the key here, being present in the moment was, though. I noticed the black-handled knife in my non-dominant hand and as I brought awareness to the process of cleaning and slicing strawberries. I brought awareness to how the process felt awkward, yet I was open to the awkward feeling, and more curious than judgmental. I observed the texture of the seedy protective outer fruit, the pressure level it took to slice through the fruit, the sweet and tangy fragrance of the fruit, carefully cutting away what I perceived as a less-than-fresh spot on the strawberry. I brought my awareness to my feet, as they grounded me in the moment, on the earth, feeling the coolness of the linoleum floor through my white gym socks, knowing below my feet, downstairs, my roommate might be still dreaming. I noticed the refreshing wet feeling of the rinsed strawberries and the cool, sticky dampness of my upper back, still moist from my workout.

Doing things differently without judgment encourages me to stay in the present moment, and allows me to move through all things that are different and unknown with more faith and less fear.

Divine Purpose

"You are creating your next moment. That is what's real."

Sarah Paddison

Every day, I do my best to be aware that I am a human being with a divine nature.

Yes, I laugh and I cry, and I find myself emoting happiness as well as sadness, and everything in between. That is the human experience. I can stay in the place of judgment, even of my emotions, and that usually doesn’t move me closer to my divine purpose. Once an emotion is present, there’s no stopping it. Stifling emotions in the body creates an energy block, and in my understanding, eventually dis-ease. Emotions are energy in motion. Moving that energy of emotion and feeling and releasing what isn’t serving my higher nature is vital (as in vital signs of life). Reaching for what best serves my higher nature helps me connect more with my divine nature. For myself, I do a lot of this energy moving through dance and the 5Rhythms practice of Gabrielle Roth. Sometimes I play some music I like to sing to (usually something fun or even humorous). I also bring awareness to my body and my breath, whether I’m sitting at a computer working, or standing in line at the local grocery store.

You can try this exercise right now. As you sit and read this, bring awareness to your breath. Notice the breath coming into your body, and notice the breath leaving your body. If you sit with a backrest, notice how your back feels as it leans into the backrest. Is your spine straight, or is your posture a little slumped? Is your abdomen loose and full or tucked in and tight? Notice these things with curiosity. You don’t need to change or judge anything. Simply bring awareness to your body. You’re in the presence of your divinity simply by observing your body-awareness in the present moment, without judgment. You're focusing on your essential state of being; your body is where this expression bursts through to create your experience.

When I choose to penetrate the human shell of protection and I become fully aware, of my emotions, my judgment of those emotions, and the fear that drives my judgment, transformation has a chance to take hold. I can choose another experience. In an instant, I can choose; it’s about decision and choosing to have another experience and release the old experience. That choice of selecting another experience is more about discernment than judgment, and opening up to what I want in my life, instead of feeding the fear of what I don’t want.

The best metaphor for observing that place of transformation and choice is by simply noticing the breath. There is the inhalation, there is the exhalation AND there is the space between inhaling and exhaling. The space that connects the inhalation and exhalation is the place of nothingness and infinite possibility, the void where all is possible.

When I’m engulfed within that timeless, placeless state, I can ask myself, without the filters of my story, if I’m “on purpose” in allowing my divine nature to come through. When the answer is a resounding “yes”, I know I can have whatever I am seeking to manifest in my life.

Meditation-An Everyday Practice

We live in a vast world of stimuli and information. We can turn on the television and listen to live or taped broadcasts, pick up a cell phone and answer a call from anywhere in the world, read email messages on our computer from friends and relatives, and search the internet for anything we want to know about or purchase. Psychologists have started calling this energetic bombardment of information glut by a new term. They call it “data smog”.

Is it any wonder people become addicted to their electronic playthings? There is a sense of instant response with machines. That isn’t all bad. It’s great to have so many choices.

It’s also great to press the “power off” button.

I’ve heard James Ray, one of the featured speakers from the DVD “The Secret” say if you can be with yourself in a room, without a phone to answer, a television to turn on, a computer, and be your only companion for a few hours, and find contentment, chances are, you like yourself (and your own company). If you like your own time with yourself, when you’re ready and want to venture out, you’ll probably attract good company to you, too.

Meditation allows me to turn the “power off” button, so I can “power on” with more fun, intensity, peace, and joy when I interact with others. I have more "self-joy", too.

Shut down, reboot, refresh… That’s meditation for me.

I find one of the most powerful ways for me to feel grounded and connected to life, source energy, and myself is by practicing meditation every day.

Dr. Susan Gregg wrote a book called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Short Meditations. She also has a website called www.shortmeditations.com. She is a wonderful facilitator of meditation and a great resource to explore.

I have found that there is no wrong way to meditate. In the beginning it wasn’t all that easy to quiet my mind. I actually started to meditate using the Holosync™ Program and have recommended these CDs to people, always with positive results. These CDs are definitely recommended for those people who do have an active mind, and want to quiet the “chatter” and explore the benefits of meditation. I even have fallen asleep to my CDs, and like I say, there isn’t a right or wrong way to meditate.

To find the Holosync™ CDs, and try a free demo, click here.

There are many physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits to meditation. I have noticed more energy, vitality, and usually something really great comes into my life after a meditation session. Here’s a link from Psychology Today on the benefits of meditation, and you can do your own self-exploration on self-exploration http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20030424-000003.html.

Many times, I don’t use my Holosync CDs, since meditation has become a daily practice, like brushing my teeth. I check in with myself and know what I need to do before my session. Sometimes I put on soft and soothing music for some background ambience. Sometimes I meditate in silence (I live in a townhome, so there isn’t complete silence, and the meditation practice has helped me be accepting about even hearing “neighbors”). I can even find a way to meditate in a noisy restaurant for a few minutes. I close my eyes, focus on my breath, and allow the opportunity to journey within, to be in a place of present moment focus, and to slow my mind down. I unhook from thoughts, judgments, and just notice sensations, breath, and still myself and tune inward.

Sometimes my meditation time is short (15 minutes). Sometimes I have the opportunity to meditate for an hour or so. Sometimes I set a clear intention for my meditation, and sometimes I just close my eyes and allow the meditation to flow, trusting that whatever I need for myself happens and is perfect.

For me, I don’t have an agenda when I meditate; the process of allowing whatever needs to flow through or empty from my mind is the process of opening up to something larger than myself. I completely surrender to that source energy to move within, and through me.

There is a saying that spiritual practice takes practice. And it's all good!

Everyday Failures

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas A. Edison

When you read the header on this post, what came up for you? Take a bit of time, and really think about something in your life that was a complete fiasco.

If you shrugged the experience off, never to look at the experience or any of the components leading to the failed situation ever again, maybe I can give some perspective and coaxing to look again, with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Chances are, if you attempted to accomplish something, just one time, and failed at it, you could be one of those perfectionists I hear about. My guess is you are good at a lot of things, so that's really a great asset, be it in building a business or a cultivating a great relationship. There are so many gems to be garnered from failure, yet sometimes we get caught up in our stories of what the experience SHOULD have been like, or we reflect on our past, and get stuck. We play safe, without taking the risks that will push us into our true greatness.

Move through it and get unstuck! It'll be worth it!

Create a list of everything you learned from the situation and “pan for the gold” from what may be perceived as the murkiness of the experience. Creating the list and brainstorming what worked, especially with someone who supports your project unconditionally, will put things into perspective, as well as help you create a game plan of what could be improved. This brainstorming will allow you to see that the experience came about to teach you something new and great. Part of my path in success coaching is coming up with creative ways to see those gems in the dust, so that you can cash in on the ideas and shift those ideas to successful outcomes.

Take a look at the things you do every day, and do well every day. Those things you do have allowed you a certain degree of confidence in your continued success to do them again and again. Let’s pick one thing. Say you turn your computer on, and once it “boots up”—do they really say that still—it’s good to go, and you get to do what you want to on the computer. That would be a success (yes, maybe, you think, a small success, but none the less, the expected outcome was achieved).

Since I’ve had the opportunity to press the “on” button on my computer and have absolutely nothing happen resembling a working computer, I am always gratified to acknowledge a resounding “yes” when things work. I take nothing for granted in this life, and have gratitude for the small and the large victories in life.

Certainty is great, especially when it's driven by internal knowledge. We learn more from the uncertainties in life; that's where the opportunity lies dormant. Turn it on, and wake it up, and kick-start your creativity. The world is waiting for your gift.

If you are pursuing a “dream”, have come to a point of being where you live the dream, breathe the dream, and are taking action and responsibility, doing all the “right” things, and the outcome is still less than stellar, here’s a great idea. Step away from the “dream”, and gain a new perspective. You still have your vision, and you’re just taking a break. Do yourself a favor, and take the emphasis out of the “dream” and what it means. Make the goal to have some fun. After all, at first, you’re experimenting with something you haven’t quite mastered. Make a list of why you want what you want to succeed, including the feelings of when success is at hand. Have faith in your creation. Remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials.

The first time you do something, even if you are great at what you do, chances are, there’s going to be something that you haven’t counted on. The richness and jewel lies in this lesson. I encourage you to embrace the things that didn’t work, as well as what did work, and refine, define, and move forward.

Make another list, and challenge yourself to come up with 50 ideas to improve your process, so you can experience more of what you want, success-wise.

Test and repeat, refine, define, and have fun with your growth.

A failure is only true failure when you don’t learn anything from the experience.

Everyday Surprises

Lately I’ve found my time is joyously exploring and experiencing new situations and opportunities. It’s been one month since I was “let go” from a full-time position I held, or maybe the position held me—whatever we tell ourselves, it’s all a story. I really like the company I worked with, yet I was not passionate about the work I was doing. I wasn’t being challenged in my workplace, although I did choose to challenge myself, by taking web design classes, to enhance my value. I continue to learn as much as I can these days in the field of graphic design, and although I’ve been in the field for over 25 years, the internet has changed the definition of a what a graphic designer is today. Creating this blog is another great lesson in enhancing my skills, in a way that feels creative and joyful.

Being “released” from this work has been radically freeing and frightening at the same time. I certainly am challenged to create the life I’ve always dreamed of, and create an income from the energy I put out into the world. I am very open to looking at a variety of situations in new ways; even the way I felt emotionally about my no longer working at this company has been completely transforming and I chose to feel good instead of feeling not good about the separation. I continue to trust the Universe opens to bring me opportunities, and I also trust that I will be open to the signs provided and that I will be conscious and in the place of allowing of new, wonderful things to come into form. I don't hang out, waiting for something to happen. Every day, I take positive action, and do what I can to connect with people and places to support my journey, and hopefully support others, too. I also do my best to experience more fun every day.

I’m engaging in a lot of networking these days. Last week, I met with a lovely woman who gave me an hour of her time, to pamper me, educate me a bit on skin care, and how to even physically reverse the signs of aging, in this challenging time where the environment and our individual lives may stress our bodies and our skin. I enjoyed our time together very much, and I enjoyed the drive out to my new friend’s home, close to some beautiful farmland, agricultural, and open space. She’s a new mother, and she works out of her home. She really enjoys what she does, and she has a lot of fun with her business.
Find out more at http://www.marykay.com:80/mmurray18/default.aspx

On the way back, I chose to “find my way” back to my home using a different route. As I turned down a country road, looking for a road sign to give me a sort of “compass” of my next turn to make, I fully enjoyed being the moment of a beautiful spring afternoon. I could always see the mountains, so I knew the direction of “west”. I had my camera with me, ready to capture the day digitally. The landscape a few hours before consisted of gray clouds and those clouds were filled with intermittent rain showers. In the span of two hour’s time, the sun reemerged, and shone on the glistening land. Steam and mist appeared on the road.

I just passed a road sign that let me know I was headed in the opposite direction of “home”. Just then, I also saw a sign with Susan’s Iris Garden in blue letters, a red arrow pointing the direction, and a phone number. So, turning around the car, I chose to explore, camera in hand.


I pulled into a driveway, and was met by a barking, growling wiry Jack Russell terrier. I let him check me out; I must have been okay to him after that. As I walked around the yard, I looked for someone to talk to, but didn’t want to disturb anyone, either.


Emerging from carefully planted flowerbeds, many varieties of iris brought a smile to my face. The garden smelled wonderful, with flowering trees, and the wild bird songs brought a joy to my ears. I especially enjoyed hearing the red-winged blackbirds, since they remind me of the time I lived in a beautiful area of North Carolina.


I so enjoyed my short time out by Susan’s Iris Garden. As I “revisit” in my mind, it makes my heart glad I am “directionally challenged”. I always know the way towards feeling happy, and these days I set my compass in that direction, no matter what happens in my life. When you decide to be happy, no matter what happens in your life, you open yourself to more rich and varied surprises.

Here’s a fun thing to do, for you everyday shamans.

What sights, sounds, and smells can transport you to a joyful, happy time? Really think of something where you absolutely felt joy and even awe at something you experienced. The more yummy the experience you had, the better. Take about five minutes of your time to do this, close your eyes, breathe in that place of joy and fun, and really “revisit” that wonderful place and feeling. Where do you feel this feeling in your body? What are those smells? Does this experience have a taste? Breathe in all this good… it’s your time, and your good! When you do this exercise, you are also creating a lot of good “chemistry” in your body, just by choosing your fun, positive thoughts. This exercising of “resetting” your feelings can actually counteract your everyday stresses, and even help your immune system strengthen. You might even find yourself sleeping better, and having more energy.

When you can remember that you can embrace the “shift” of feeling good over feeling not good, any time you chose, you embrace the power of the everyday shaman.

Riding the Wave of In-Between

Sometimes we have absolutely no idea what is going to happen in our lives. Could it be we let life happen to us? Or maybe we are open to new possibilities and bring about as many conditions as we can to stimulate and excite us. When it comes to the human condition, and the situations we bring about into our lives, it’s truly a grand illusion that we’re in total control, and many times that very thought causes suffering and pain. We are always in control of how we choose to view and feel about those situations, and when we stay in a place of emotional observation and non-reaction, we can track those feelings, and choose more of how we want to feel about whatever is going on in our daily lives.

For much of my life I thought I was open-minded. Yet, patterns kept showing up in my life again and again and as soon as I thought I had learned what I needed to from a particular experience, and imagined I released that pattern forever, there it was again, like an old friend. Not a good old friend, but definitely, an old friend. I felt there was a specific way, or feeling I should experience, and the pattern would be gone.

I finally acknowledged my resistance, and the “SHOULD” of my pattern. The word SHOULD contains the stinging smack of judgment and the inference that something is either right or wrong. My consciousness of this resistance I have held dearly, as a measure of, what I think is security and safety, was actually binding me to an old, painful and outdated belief. For me, acknowledging this resistance of how my life “SHOULD” be has been the first giant step to true freedom.

If a “SHOULD” comes up in your life, what disempowering belief is operating? What judgments are operating, creating resistance for the very thing you really want to attract in your life? What stories are you telling yourself about your relationships, your body, or your job?

One of my favorite spiritual leaders used to say lots of people have a degree from MSU. Making Stuff Up. Are your stories the truth? Are they assumptions that you hang onto for dear life, to create the illusion of security and safety?

I’ve adapted a saying and a way of living: I’m riding the wave of in-between.

All my life, I wanted to have my relationships defined, my workplace defined, my finances defined. And the more I demanded that definition of my life, the more I pushed it further and further away.

Imagine a small boat on the ocean close to where you are on the shoreline, with all those people and ideas of how life SHOULD be, ideas you hold so dear, symbolized by the drifting boat, floating farther out to sea.

Holding on to that belief that people and things need to be defined, because I craved a sense of security caused me years of suffering. As I came more into the consciousness of this assumption and its insidious resistance, the more I released people in my life holding the same or similar beliefs. I have now learned to create that security and safety within my own being. Somewhere, in that need to control and have security was also a hidden resentment, another SHOULD. Things are what they are. We can be with that, or make stuff up and surrender our power to old beliefs.

The more I practice riding the wave of in-between, I notice the urge to control any situation is replaced by the love and trust of the experience, no matter what the outcome.

As I ride the wave of in-between, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want certain “certainties” in my life, it just means I can let go of those attachments holding me in a pattern of feeling unsafe or insecure in my life. I choose more fun ways of being in my life, acknowledging that life can really be full and joyful. I remind myself to live my life in a space of gratitude, and trust that love and faith operate and are fully present in my life all the time; all is well now, just as it is. I don’t have to know the outcome, and I can be surprised by all the “happy accidents” showing up in my life.

Riding the wave of in-between is trusting in love instead of fear. Learning to love the in-between opens me to possibilities I could have never dreamed.

Everyday Gems

Every day, I ask the Universe to allow me to open up to wonderful, unexplainable opportunities.

I have a pothos plant I took with me when I left Arizona in 2005. The plant wasn’t doing all that well, so I moved it by some filtered light and beside a nice sized amethyst formation I purchased at a metaphysical fair last year. Ever since the pothos and the amethyst became “neighbors”, the plant became energized and prolific, sprouting lots of new leaf growth. As I marveled at this energetic surge in plant life force, I felt drawn to find a small amethyst to wear as a necklace, feeling the desire for an energetic surge of my own.

I scheduled a trip into Boulder (9 miles away) for my car, and on the way back home, I decided to drop off a good-sized box of books I had placed in the back of my car. I’m in the process of ridding myself of household items that are not needed or used in my life, to create more space for new and positive energy. I parked my car a hefty walking distance from my bookstore destination, and with my book-laden box, I made the trek to the bookstore, huffing and puffing all the way.

When I left the bookstore and got back into my car, I wondered what businesses were located down the street I parked. I had never been down that street before. Time to explore! I spotted a storefront with an attractive sign, called The Light Connection, so I parallel-parked my car, and hopped inside. The store has been lovingly transformed into a metaphysical seeker’s paradise. Inside The Light Connection one can find many beautiful pieces of art, books of wisdom and spiritual items, and by appointment, you can schedule a reading with a tarot reader, intuitive, astrologer and the list of readings go on. I was elated to happen upon this lovely store. The young sales goddess there, Samantha, was so enjoyable to talk to, and I felt totally guided by the Universe to find this special gem of a store. And, of course, I found a lovely amethyst pendant I was attracted to, at a very reasonable price.

The website for The Light Connection is http://www.light-connection.com.