Everyday Failures

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Thomas A. Edison

When you read the header on this post, what came up for you? Take a bit of time, and really think about something in your life that was a complete fiasco.

If you shrugged the experience off, never to look at the experience or any of the components leading to the failed situation ever again, maybe I can give some perspective and coaxing to look again, with fresh eyes and an open heart.

Chances are, if you attempted to accomplish something, just one time, and failed at it, you could be one of those perfectionists I hear about. My guess is you are good at a lot of things, so that's really a great asset, be it in building a business or a cultivating a great relationship. There are so many gems to be garnered from failure, yet sometimes we get caught up in our stories of what the experience SHOULD have been like, or we reflect on our past, and get stuck. We play safe, without taking the risks that will push us into our true greatness.

Move through it and get unstuck! It'll be worth it!

Create a list of everything you learned from the situation and “pan for the gold” from what may be perceived as the murkiness of the experience. Creating the list and brainstorming what worked, especially with someone who supports your project unconditionally, will put things into perspective, as well as help you create a game plan of what could be improved. This brainstorming will allow you to see that the experience came about to teach you something new and great. Part of my path in success coaching is coming up with creative ways to see those gems in the dust, so that you can cash in on the ideas and shift those ideas to successful outcomes.

Take a look at the things you do every day, and do well every day. Those things you do have allowed you a certain degree of confidence in your continued success to do them again and again. Let’s pick one thing. Say you turn your computer on, and once it “boots up”—do they really say that still—it’s good to go, and you get to do what you want to on the computer. That would be a success (yes, maybe, you think, a small success, but none the less, the expected outcome was achieved).

Since I’ve had the opportunity to press the “on” button on my computer and have absolutely nothing happen resembling a working computer, I am always gratified to acknowledge a resounding “yes” when things work. I take nothing for granted in this life, and have gratitude for the small and the large victories in life.

Certainty is great, especially when it's driven by internal knowledge. We learn more from the uncertainties in life; that's where the opportunity lies dormant. Turn it on, and wake it up, and kick-start your creativity. The world is waiting for your gift.

If you are pursuing a “dream”, have come to a point of being where you live the dream, breathe the dream, and are taking action and responsibility, doing all the “right” things, and the outcome is still less than stellar, here’s a great idea. Step away from the “dream”, and gain a new perspective. You still have your vision, and you’re just taking a break. Do yourself a favor, and take the emphasis out of the “dream” and what it means. Make the goal to have some fun. After all, at first, you’re experimenting with something you haven’t quite mastered. Make a list of why you want what you want to succeed, including the feelings of when success is at hand. Have faith in your creation. Remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials.

The first time you do something, even if you are great at what you do, chances are, there’s going to be something that you haven’t counted on. The richness and jewel lies in this lesson. I encourage you to embrace the things that didn’t work, as well as what did work, and refine, define, and move forward.

Make another list, and challenge yourself to come up with 50 ideas to improve your process, so you can experience more of what you want, success-wise.

Test and repeat, refine, define, and have fun with your growth.

A failure is only true failure when you don’t learn anything from the experience.

Everyday Surprises

Lately I’ve found my time is joyously exploring and experiencing new situations and opportunities. It’s been one month since I was “let go” from a full-time position I held, or maybe the position held me—whatever we tell ourselves, it’s all a story. I really like the company I worked with, yet I was not passionate about the work I was doing. I wasn’t being challenged in my workplace, although I did choose to challenge myself, by taking web design classes, to enhance my value. I continue to learn as much as I can these days in the field of graphic design, and although I’ve been in the field for over 25 years, the internet has changed the definition of a what a graphic designer is today. Creating this blog is another great lesson in enhancing my skills, in a way that feels creative and joyful.

Being “released” from this work has been radically freeing and frightening at the same time. I certainly am challenged to create the life I’ve always dreamed of, and create an income from the energy I put out into the world. I am very open to looking at a variety of situations in new ways; even the way I felt emotionally about my no longer working at this company has been completely transforming and I chose to feel good instead of feeling not good about the separation. I continue to trust the Universe opens to bring me opportunities, and I also trust that I will be open to the signs provided and that I will be conscious and in the place of allowing of new, wonderful things to come into form. I don't hang out, waiting for something to happen. Every day, I take positive action, and do what I can to connect with people and places to support my journey, and hopefully support others, too. I also do my best to experience more fun every day.

I’m engaging in a lot of networking these days. Last week, I met with a lovely woman who gave me an hour of her time, to pamper me, educate me a bit on skin care, and how to even physically reverse the signs of aging, in this challenging time where the environment and our individual lives may stress our bodies and our skin. I enjoyed our time together very much, and I enjoyed the drive out to my new friend’s home, close to some beautiful farmland, agricultural, and open space. She’s a new mother, and she works out of her home. She really enjoys what she does, and she has a lot of fun with her business.
Find out more at http://www.marykay.com:80/mmurray18/default.aspx

On the way back, I chose to “find my way” back to my home using a different route. As I turned down a country road, looking for a road sign to give me a sort of “compass” of my next turn to make, I fully enjoyed being the moment of a beautiful spring afternoon. I could always see the mountains, so I knew the direction of “west”. I had my camera with me, ready to capture the day digitally. The landscape a few hours before consisted of gray clouds and those clouds were filled with intermittent rain showers. In the span of two hour’s time, the sun reemerged, and shone on the glistening land. Steam and mist appeared on the road.

I just passed a road sign that let me know I was headed in the opposite direction of “home”. Just then, I also saw a sign with Susan’s Iris Garden in blue letters, a red arrow pointing the direction, and a phone number. So, turning around the car, I chose to explore, camera in hand.


I pulled into a driveway, and was met by a barking, growling wiry Jack Russell terrier. I let him check me out; I must have been okay to him after that. As I walked around the yard, I looked for someone to talk to, but didn’t want to disturb anyone, either.


Emerging from carefully planted flowerbeds, many varieties of iris brought a smile to my face. The garden smelled wonderful, with flowering trees, and the wild bird songs brought a joy to my ears. I especially enjoyed hearing the red-winged blackbirds, since they remind me of the time I lived in a beautiful area of North Carolina.


I so enjoyed my short time out by Susan’s Iris Garden. As I “revisit” in my mind, it makes my heart glad I am “directionally challenged”. I always know the way towards feeling happy, and these days I set my compass in that direction, no matter what happens in my life. When you decide to be happy, no matter what happens in your life, you open yourself to more rich and varied surprises.

Here’s a fun thing to do, for you everyday shamans.

What sights, sounds, and smells can transport you to a joyful, happy time? Really think of something where you absolutely felt joy and even awe at something you experienced. The more yummy the experience you had, the better. Take about five minutes of your time to do this, close your eyes, breathe in that place of joy and fun, and really “revisit” that wonderful place and feeling. Where do you feel this feeling in your body? What are those smells? Does this experience have a taste? Breathe in all this good… it’s your time, and your good! When you do this exercise, you are also creating a lot of good “chemistry” in your body, just by choosing your fun, positive thoughts. This exercising of “resetting” your feelings can actually counteract your everyday stresses, and even help your immune system strengthen. You might even find yourself sleeping better, and having more energy.

When you can remember that you can embrace the “shift” of feeling good over feeling not good, any time you chose, you embrace the power of the everyday shaman.

Riding the Wave of In-Between

Sometimes we have absolutely no idea what is going to happen in our lives. Could it be we let life happen to us? Or maybe we are open to new possibilities and bring about as many conditions as we can to stimulate and excite us. When it comes to the human condition, and the situations we bring about into our lives, it’s truly a grand illusion that we’re in total control, and many times that very thought causes suffering and pain. We are always in control of how we choose to view and feel about those situations, and when we stay in a place of emotional observation and non-reaction, we can track those feelings, and choose more of how we want to feel about whatever is going on in our daily lives.

For much of my life I thought I was open-minded. Yet, patterns kept showing up in my life again and again and as soon as I thought I had learned what I needed to from a particular experience, and imagined I released that pattern forever, there it was again, like an old friend. Not a good old friend, but definitely, an old friend. I felt there was a specific way, or feeling I should experience, and the pattern would be gone.

I finally acknowledged my resistance, and the “SHOULD” of my pattern. The word SHOULD contains the stinging smack of judgment and the inference that something is either right or wrong. My consciousness of this resistance I have held dearly, as a measure of, what I think is security and safety, was actually binding me to an old, painful and outdated belief. For me, acknowledging this resistance of how my life “SHOULD” be has been the first giant step to true freedom.

If a “SHOULD” comes up in your life, what disempowering belief is operating? What judgments are operating, creating resistance for the very thing you really want to attract in your life? What stories are you telling yourself about your relationships, your body, or your job?

One of my favorite spiritual leaders used to say lots of people have a degree from MSU. Making Stuff Up. Are your stories the truth? Are they assumptions that you hang onto for dear life, to create the illusion of security and safety?

I’ve adapted a saying and a way of living: I’m riding the wave of in-between.

All my life, I wanted to have my relationships defined, my workplace defined, my finances defined. And the more I demanded that definition of my life, the more I pushed it further and further away.

Imagine a small boat on the ocean close to where you are on the shoreline, with all those people and ideas of how life SHOULD be, ideas you hold so dear, symbolized by the drifting boat, floating farther out to sea.

Holding on to that belief that people and things need to be defined, because I craved a sense of security caused me years of suffering. As I came more into the consciousness of this assumption and its insidious resistance, the more I released people in my life holding the same or similar beliefs. I have now learned to create that security and safety within my own being. Somewhere, in that need to control and have security was also a hidden resentment, another SHOULD. Things are what they are. We can be with that, or make stuff up and surrender our power to old beliefs.

The more I practice riding the wave of in-between, I notice the urge to control any situation is replaced by the love and trust of the experience, no matter what the outcome.

As I ride the wave of in-between, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want certain “certainties” in my life, it just means I can let go of those attachments holding me in a pattern of feeling unsafe or insecure in my life. I choose more fun ways of being in my life, acknowledging that life can really be full and joyful. I remind myself to live my life in a space of gratitude, and trust that love and faith operate and are fully present in my life all the time; all is well now, just as it is. I don’t have to know the outcome, and I can be surprised by all the “happy accidents” showing up in my life.

Riding the wave of in-between is trusting in love instead of fear. Learning to love the in-between opens me to possibilities I could have never dreamed.

Everyday Gems

Every day, I ask the Universe to allow me to open up to wonderful, unexplainable opportunities.

I have a pothos plant I took with me when I left Arizona in 2005. The plant wasn’t doing all that well, so I moved it by some filtered light and beside a nice sized amethyst formation I purchased at a metaphysical fair last year. Ever since the pothos and the amethyst became “neighbors”, the plant became energized and prolific, sprouting lots of new leaf growth. As I marveled at this energetic surge in plant life force, I felt drawn to find a small amethyst to wear as a necklace, feeling the desire for an energetic surge of my own.

I scheduled a trip into Boulder (9 miles away) for my car, and on the way back home, I decided to drop off a good-sized box of books I had placed in the back of my car. I’m in the process of ridding myself of household items that are not needed or used in my life, to create more space for new and positive energy. I parked my car a hefty walking distance from my bookstore destination, and with my book-laden box, I made the trek to the bookstore, huffing and puffing all the way.

When I left the bookstore and got back into my car, I wondered what businesses were located down the street I parked. I had never been down that street before. Time to explore! I spotted a storefront with an attractive sign, called The Light Connection, so I parallel-parked my car, and hopped inside. The store has been lovingly transformed into a metaphysical seeker’s paradise. Inside The Light Connection one can find many beautiful pieces of art, books of wisdom and spiritual items, and by appointment, you can schedule a reading with a tarot reader, intuitive, astrologer and the list of readings go on. I was elated to happen upon this lovely store. The young sales goddess there, Samantha, was so enjoyable to talk to, and I felt totally guided by the Universe to find this special gem of a store. And, of course, I found a lovely amethyst pendant I was attracted to, at a very reasonable price.

The website for The Light Connection is http://www.light-connection.com.

Everyday Gratitude

Every day is another chance and choice to be grateful, for things large and small in life's journeys and experiences. I am grateful for my cat, who is sitting on my lap while I type away. He seems to feel a lot of love, and a gets a good portion of my attention while I write this post. I feel joy and gratitude for his presence. I feel his love for me, and I think he feels the unconditional love I have for him.

I am grateful for the sun's warmth, and equally grateful for sunscreen, and the inventors of the many products that enhance my way of being in the world. The simplicity of the wind rustling through the trees, the song of a wild bird, this can bring a smile to my face and gratitude to my heart.

I have gratitude for friendships that have lasted through the years, as well as friendships that have passed. I believe people come into one's life, and touch us in ways we can't sometimes express when in the relationship. Most relationships mirror and reflect our own needs, and sometimes our own flaws. When we're lucky to be in a relationship where both people are conscious and aware of how they mirror one another, and come to an agreement to grow from all life situations, knowing there is co-creation, and no place for being right or wrong, or no place for blame, shame or resentment, the seeds are planted for the experience of unconditional love and acceptance.

The Everyday Shaman

Opportunities in life appear to us in every moment. Dr. Susan Gregg, author of The Toltec Way, suggests those occurrences show up in our lives by invitation. This idea supports that a belief held by a person, as well as actions, thoughts, conscious and unconscious, as well as reactions “invite” the situation into a person's life.

Think about it. When you drop something breakable and it shatters in bits and pieces as it hits the ground, most of the time, some reaction springs forth. It could be screaming, muttering, or cursing. It could be an inner voice that says, "oh, you fumbling idiot". It may be an inner voice exclaiming, "I must slow down; things like this can happen when I'm in a hurry". What's your experience with reaction? What is a pattern you have held onto when you're in reaction?

What if you just observed something drop, shatter, and break. Would there be the same reaction? Even if you were the one dropping that breakable? Could your discernment and conscious awareness change the situation? The breakable is still broken. If it's a simple glass jar or a treasured family heirloom, any way you look at it, it's broken, plain and simple.

You can choose is your reaction to the experience. With practice, you can shift your perception, and the breakable will be the breakable, and you will be you. Yes, it would be very sad to break a precious family heirloom. These things happen. You create your story, and you can recreate your story, especially when your story is not serving you in your life experience. So why would you want to hold on to your story if it doesn't serve you or bring you joy?

Every day is a new opportunity to remake and reclaim one's self. When we bring awareness to not just what we do, but how we approach what we do, and bring our good feelings into the equation, a wholeness and lightness in our energy field takes place. We are all energy, as is all that surrounds us. Some things are more dense energetically than others, and have a different vibrational resonance, but we all are the stuff of the stars. How you live in the energetic world has a mirroring effect on your experience externally. When you think in a negative way, tell yourself a negative story, and focus on the external "stuff" being "done" to you, instead of focusing internally on allowing your light shine brightly, and your gifts to the world to come through, you surrender your personal power and freedom to the external world around you.

Every single day, YOU are the shaman. You have power, or you give up your power. You make the choice to greet the day with openness and take pleasure in how you view your life, or you can focus on what's lacking in your life, and in that focus, you bring more of what you're lacking. Limited thinking creates a limited life.

When you go through life thinking, "if only I had… (and you can fill in the blank for anything you lack or don't have)", your belief system is holding you back from what you truly desire. Being a conscious "everyday shaman" takes a shift in belief, focusing on what you want, and asking to clearly see what obstacles stand in your way.

Those obstacles may be "real" to you, at least in the external world. Obstacles drop away when true intention links up with passion and action. When intention, awareness, and conscious positive emotion intersect, amazing things happen. The everyday shaman knows this and knows how to co-create with the Universe in every moment.

So, just for today, create one life situation with intention, openness, and joy. No manipulation is needed. See this situation as it is already done. Feel the gratitude that it is so, that this situation is. The situation could be something as small as intending a parking space close to a building where you need to do business, or thinking about a friend you haven't heard from in a while and with a feeling of love, send a blessing, knowing that friend feels your total support and love, and surprise, you hear from that very friend.

If your chosen life situation doesn't pan out today, make the decision and choose to be happy in the moment. Faith works best when you allow for expansion. If you focus on "this isn't working", you have your first obstacle to work through… your limiting focus and belief.

Miracles do happen for the everyday shaman.
May you share the miracle that you are with the world,
Love, Lori

Everyday Possibilities

What thoughts come to mind when your day begins?

Do you awaken with a smile on your face, or groan at another day? Do you look forward to the possibilities of what fun you might have? Do you allow life to wash over you, like the warm waters of the morning shower, and with feeling the sensation of warmth, wet, the aroma of fragrant soap, do you breathe in all those sensations, living and being in the moment? Knowing that all in your life is good and rich with possibilities?

Life is life. It can be more or less, depending on your point of view.

I have sweet companion animals of the feline variety, and I feel fortunate that they chose to live with me. Before I go to sleep, and when I awaken, one of the first things I do is to say "I love you" to those gentle, sometimes annoyingly loud before 5 a.m. creatures. Whatever they do, and however they are in the world, and they are both quite different, I honor their presence, and their differences. I honor how they can love unconditionally. I marvel at the ability to purr. So far, my physical body isn't able to create that spontaneous vibrational sound, that most definitely heals and soothes.

I also honor my presence in the first waking hour of my day. I look in the mirror and smile. I honor my physical presence, which is changing with the passing days, yet still appears familiar. I honor my spiritual journey, and awaken to know it is all a spiritual journey. There is no place where spirit is not. I look forward to my day. I think to myself, "what could I do today that would be fun?". I always do my part to be open for whatever "happy accidents" I might stumble across.

You have the power of choice. Allowing yourself to be open for something wonderful to fill a space in this day, this very moment, might be your first step to awakening to your unique possibilities.